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| | The BillAllys Pub Network is not currently active and cannot accept new posts | | Irish Humor (Some Jokes) | Views: 265 | | Mar 22, 2009 6:37 am | | Irish Humor (Some Jokes) | # | 
T.E.A.M. Mom! | | I got this in my email box a few days ago so I thought I would share them. Enjoy your day, Patricia
You have to Love the Irish :D
Joke 1 -
Paddy was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place. Looking up to heaven he said, 'Lord take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of me life and give up me Irish Whiskey Miraculously, a parking place appeared. Paddy looked up again and said, 'Never mind, I found one.'
Joke 2 -
Father Murphy walks into a pub (YEAH) in Donegal, and asks the first man he meets, 'Do you want to go to heaven?' The man said, 'I do, Father.' The priest said, 'Then stand over there against the wall.' Then the priest asked the second man, 'Do you want to go to heaven?' 'Certainly, Father,' the man replied. 'Then stand over there against the wall,' said the priest. Then Father Murphy walked up to O'Toole and asked, 'Do you want to go to heaven?' O'Toole said, 'No, I don't Father.' The priest said, 'I don't believe this. You mean to t ell me that when you die you don't want to go to heaven?' O'Toole said, 'Oh, when I die, yes. I thought you were getting a group together to go right now.'
Joke 3 -
Paddy was in New York. He was patiently waiting and watching the traffic cop on a busy street crossing. The cop stopped the flow of traffic and shouted, 'Okay, pedestrians.' Then he'd allow the traffic to pass. He'd done this several times, and Paddy still stood on the sidewalk. After the cop had shouted, 'Pedestrians!' for the tenth time, Paddy went over to him and said, 'Is it not about time ye let the Catholics across?'
Joke 4 -
Gallagher opened the morning newspaper and was dumbfounded to read in the obituary column that he had died. He quickly phoned his best friend, Finney. 'Did you see the paper?' asked Gallagher. 'They say I died!!' 'Yes, I saw it!' replied Finney. 'Where are ye callin' from?'
Joke 5 -
An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut. The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then se es an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car. He says, 'Sir, have you been drinking?' 'Just water,' says the priest. The trooper says, 'Then why do I smell wine?' The priest looks at the bottle and says, 'Good Lord! He's done it again!'
Joke 6 -
Walking into the bar, Mike said to Charlie the bartender, 'Pour me a stiff one - just had another fight with the little woman.' 'Oh yeah?' said Charlie, 'And how did this one end?' 'When it was over,' Mike replied, 'She came to me on her hands and knees.' 'Really,' said Charles, 'Now that's a switch! What did she say?' She said, 'Come out from under the bed, you little chicken.'
Joke 7 -
Patton staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking buddy, Paddy. He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife, Kathleen. He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom, but misjudged the bottom step. As he caught himself by grabbing the banister, his body swung around and he landed heavily on his rump. A whiskey bottle in each back pocket broke and made the landing especially pa inful. Managing not to yell, Patton sprung up, pulled down his pants, and looked in the hall mirror to see that his butt cheeks were cut and bleeding. He managed to quietly find a full box of Band-Aids and began putting a Band-Aid as best he could on each place he saw blood. He then hid the now almost empty Band-Aid box and shuffled and stumbled his way to bed. In the morning, Patton woke up with searing pain in both his head and butt and Kathleen staring at him from across the room. She said, 'You were drunk again last night weren't you?' Patton said, 'Why you say such a mean thing?' 'Well,' Kathleen said, 'it could be the open front door, it could
be the broken glass at the bottom of the stairs, it could be the drops of blood trailing through the house, it could be your bloodshot eyes, but mostly ..... it's all those Band-Aids stuck on the hall mirror.
Private Reply to T.E.A.M. Mom! | | Mar 23, 2009 7:29 pm | | re: Irish Humor (Some Jokes) | # | 
Charles DeJesus | | Hi Patricia,
Those were pretty good......took me a while to
catch my breath so I could work this key-board.
If you wanted me to laugh, ya did a great job!
Keep them coming sweetheart, we all need as many
laughs as we can get.
Love,
ChasPrivate Reply to Charles DeJesus | | Mar 24, 2009 6:25 am | | re: Irish Humor (Some Jokes) | # |
T.E.A.M. Mom! | | Yup, I nearly wet my pants, really, because they remind me of some family and friends who are die hard Irish Pubbers :) Some have even went to Ireland to look up family tree and vacation, sitting in with the locals.
Being that I am at least 1/3 Irish (both sides), my grandmother coming over with her mom as a toddler, I grew up with everything Irish, I didn't even know I had any other nationality in me, LOL And of course being born just shy of 3/17 (told my mom why didn't she hold her leggs together a few more minutes ah ha), being Irish, I was named after St. Patrick (thus Patricia).
My birthday's were always fun, whether just my siblings and some friends or celebrating with family at get togethers on St. Pattys Day, there were many jokes and stories flying about, amist the whiskey (just one of their drinks of choice). Sometimes their were bad times, mostly good and for the most part, I enjoy from my heart being a proud Irish Momma and bear it every year!
I hope I will get some more good ones like that from my Aunt (my dads oldest sister) so I can post here. I usually just delete out emails like that, I just don't have time, but this one was sent to me on my birthday so I knew it was funny.
Have a great day everyone, remember to keep Ally and Bill in your prayers! PatriciaPrivate Reply to T.E.A.M. Mom! |  | |
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