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| Mental Candy Blasts From the Past (May Occassionally Contain Adult Humor) | Views: 913 |
| Jan 27, 2008 10:26 pm | | Mental Candy Blasts From the Past (May Occassionally Contain Adult Humor) | # |
Gery DiMarco | | Early in my time on Ryze I got involved with what is arguably one of the most popular networks ever on Ryze. Founded by Jeff Kronish in Sept. of '03 it booked over 6200 posts in just under a year and a half until it stopped mysteriously on Valentine's Day 2005. Come to think of it thatt was a bad day for me. We lost Mental Candy that morning and my wife had her devastating car accident that evening. I was able to get over the loss of the Network though.
Interestingly, I don't believe Jeff has ever shared why he closed the newtork but it remains visible. I've been reminiscing now and then and thought I'd pay homage to the network and some of the great contributions from Jeff and the members by reposting some great stuff on this wonderful network. Some are funny others are bizarre. Great mind teasers and things tha make you go Huh? were the specialty.
Here's a little light hearted Cowboy Humor to start things off. This was posted by Jeff, himself 9/23/03
COWBOY QUOTES
It doesn't matter how big a Ranch ya own...or how many cows ya brand...or how much money ya make...the size of yer Funeral is still gonna depend on the weather...
Men are like Barbed Wire.... they have their good points..
No one but Cattle know why they stampede...and the ain't talking....
It's a big mistake to drive Black cattle in the dark...
Never walk when ya can ride...never stand when ya can sit...
A smart ass... just doesn't fit in the saddle...
There's two theories to arguin' with a woman...and neither of them work...
There are three kinds of men:
1. the ones that learn by reading....
2. the few that learn by observation...
3. the rest of them have to pee on the electric fence by themselves...
IF the world made sense men would ride......Sidesaddle
*****************************************************
*********A COWBOY'S GUIDE TO LIFE *************
*****************************************************
Don't squat with your spurs on.
Don't never interfeer with something that ain't botherin' you none.
If it don't seem like it's worth the effort, it probably ain't.
It don't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.
The biggest liar you'll ever have to deal with probably watches you shave his face in the mirror every morning.
Never ask a barber if he thinks you need a haircut.
If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody
else's dog around.
Don't worry about bitin' off more'n you can chew. Your mouth is probably a whole lot bigger'n you think.
ALWAYS drink upstream from the herd.
Generally, you ain't learnin' nothin' when your mouth is a-jawin'.
Tellin' a man to git' lost and makin' him do it are two entirely different
propositions.
Generally speakin', fancy titles and nightshirts are a waste of time.
Trust everybody in the game, but always cut the cards.
If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make
sure it's still there.
Ther's more ways to skin a cat than stickin' his head in a boot jack and
jerkin' on his tail.
Some ranchers raise pigs and some will even admit it. Either way, they're
raisin' pigs.
Never follow good whiskey with water, unless you're out of good whiskey.
Most Importantly
Never kick a fresh turd on a hot day.
Hopefully this will be the first of many and you will enjoy most if not all of my faves.
Gery DiMarco
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| Jan 28, 2008 11:13 am | | re: Mental Candy Blasts From the Past (May Occassionally Contain Adult Humor) | # |
Howard Meadows | | Gery,
I loved it - especially the three kinds of men. ;-)
-HowardPrivate Reply to Howard Meadows |
| Jan 30, 2008 9:13 pm | | re: re: Mental Candy Blasts From the Past (May Occassionally Contain Adult Humor) | # |
bill vanderbilt | | Hello Gery Mander ( political pun )
On the topic of quotations, I really like Stephen Wright. Here are a few of his.
In case you've never seen or heard Steven Wright, his method of delivery is very deadpan and in a monotone voice. Just imagine him saying these thing with absolutely no expression. You get the picture?
It doesn't matter what temperature the room is, it's always room temperature.
I was an only child, eventually.
I lost a button hole.
I'm not afraid of heights. I'm afraid of widths.
I saw a sign at a gas station. It said 'help wanted'. There was another sign below it that said 'self service'. So I hired myself. Then I made myself the boss. I gave myself a raise. I paid myself. Then I quit.
A cop stopped me for speeding. He said, 'Why were you going so fast?' I said, 'See this thing my foot is on? It's called an accelerator. When you push down on it, it sends more gas to the engine. The whole car just takes right off. And see this thing? This steers it'
In Vegas, I got into a long argument with the man at the roulette wheel over what I considered to be an odd number.
I parked in the tow-away zone, and when I got back, the entire neighborhood was gone.
I once put instant coffee in a microwave and went back in time.
I got a dog and named him 'Stay'. Now, I go 'Come here, Stay!' After a while, the dog went insane and wouldn't move at all.
I spilled spot remover on my dog...now he's gone.
I have a map of the United States, life size. 1 mile equals 1 mile. It's a bitch to fold it.
I made wine out of raisins so I wouldn't have to wait for it to age.
Last year for Christmas, I got a humidifier and a dehumidifier... I thought I'd put them in the same room and let them fight it out.
I woke up this morning and couldn't find my socks, so I called information. She said they were behind the couch. She was right.
My house is made out of balsa wood, so when I want to scare the neighborhood kids I lift it over my head and tell them to get out of my yard or I'll throw it at them.
Right now I'm having amnesia and deja-vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.
In my house there's this light switch that doesn't do anything. Every so often I would flick it on and off just to check. Yesterday, I got a call from a woman in Germany. She said, "Cut it out."
Sponges grow in the ocean ... that *kills* me. I wonder how much deeper the oceans would be if that didn't happen.
Sincerely, BilldaddyPrivate Reply to bill vanderbilt |
| Feb 06, 2008 1:51 pm | | Valentine Mental Candy - More Blasts From the Past (May Occassionally Contain Adult Humor) | # |
Gery DiMarco | | With Valentine's Day just around the corner here's one my good friend Dani Cutler brought to Mental Candy from Daily Candy's Lexicon entries ...
Lexicon XI - Brush Up on that Valentine's Lingo
Is that the whisper of sweet nothings we hear echoing across the land?
Easy on the sonnets, Shakespeare. Here's the real Valentine's vocab.
bandwagoner
n. A once-single woman who traditionally swears off the holiday but is now happily coupled off and suddenly all about hearts, roses, and luuuv ...
candy-boxer
n. A cop-out gifter. ("Good old George. He's a total candy-boxer, but I still love him.")
cryday the 13th
n. The day before Valentine's Day if you don't have a boy/girlfriend.
engage-mint
n. A pre-necking breath freshener, often consumed post-BFD (Big Fat Diamond).
fear goggling
n. The act of rushing into a relationship in order to avoid spending Valentine's Day alone.
flighty Aphrodite
n. A favorite Valentine's date, she's undeniably attractive and intellectually challenged. See also foxymoron.
hetox
n. Taking a a break from romance and its attending insanities. A.k.a. turning off the valve. See also: shetox.
kama-suture
n. Aid for injuries sustained during aerobic bedroom exercises (particularly by non-aerobic types).
love at first fight
n. Syndrome experienced by those drawn to each other by arguments and make-up sex.
poxes of chocolate
n. Last-minute purchases of cheap, red-cellophane-wrapped, low-quality chocolates that make one immediately ill.
scamentine
n. Someone who always has a random hookup on Valentine's Day.
Valenspammer
n. Shallow sentimentalist who sends valentines to everyone she knows. ("Don't be flattered by Josie's card. She's a notorious Valenspammer.")
For more humorous lexicons you might like to visit Daily Candy
Gery DiMarco
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| Feb 06, 2008 3:23 pm | | re: Valentine Mental Candy - More Blasts From the Past (May Occassionally Contain Adult Humor) | # |
Ally | | These are funny.. I would be a foxymoron LMAO.
Thanks for the laughs
Love Ya
Ally
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| Feb 14, 2008 2:14 pm | | 10 Things You Didn't Know about V-Day | # |
Gery DiMarco | | Happy Valentine's Day. Here's some Mental Valentine Candy courtesy of Marla Stout from 2004.
February has been known as the month to celebrate love since the Middle Ages.
About 1 billion Valentine's Day cards are exchanged each year, this is the largest seasonal card-sending occasion of the year, next to Christmas.
Women send 85% of all Valentine's Day cards.
Men purchase 73% of all flowers given on Valentine's Day.
The red rose, representing love, is the most popular flower purchased by men in the U.S.
Verona, where Shakespeare's fictional lovers Romeo and Juliet lived, receives about 1,000 letters addressed to Juliet every Valentine's Day.
According to U.S. candy manufacturers, Americans spend more than $1million on candy every Valentine's Day.
About 3% of pet owners will give Valentine's Day gifts to their pets.
Centuries ago people used to believe that if a woman saw a robin flying overhead on Valentine's Day, it meant that she would marry a sailor. If she saw a sparrow, she would marry a poor man and be very happy.
If she saw a goldfinch, she would marry a millionaire.
(Who ever sees goldfinches?)
In the middle ages, young men and women drew names from a bowl to see who their valentines would be. They would wear these names on their sleeves for one week. This is said to be the origin of the expression, "wearing your heart on your sleeve."
Gery DiMarco
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| Feb 18, 2008 4:41 pm | | re: 10 Things You Didn't Know about V-Day | # |
Ally | | Thanks G, I love this thread.. it is just awesome to learn something I didn't know.
The only bird I saw was a crow... what does that mean lol.
Love Ya
Ally
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| Feb 18, 2008 9:33 pm | | re: re: 10 Things You Didn't Know about V-Day | # |
Gery DiMarco | | A crow means you have an eye for shiny things.
Bill's silvery hair perhaps?
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| Feb 19, 2008 12:25 am | | re: re: re: 10 Things You Didn't Know about V-Day | # |
Ally | | You got that right.. love that silver hair...and his sparkling personality LOL
Love Ya
Ally
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| Feb 20, 2008 12:25 pm | | In honor of President's Day - Trivia Question - What do they have in common? | # |
Gery DiMarco | | Since Lincoln is in this list I thought I'd put up a question posted originally by the Mental Candy network founder Jeff Kronisch.
What do these President's have in common?
Martin Van Buren
Abraham Lincoln
Ulysses Grant
Rutherford Hayes
James Garfield
Chester Arthur
Grover Cleveland
Benjamin Harrison
Theodore Roosevelt
William Taft
....The answer is not they they are all men or that they are all dead.
Gery DiMarco
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| Feb 20, 2008 3:58 pm | | re: In honor of President's Day - Trivia Question - What do they have in common? | # |
Mirdza Hayden | | I don't know... is it they were all honest? I haven't heard of many of them actually, so it's just a guess....
Mirdza
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| Feb 20, 2008 8:00 pm | | re: re: In honor of President's Day - Trivia Question - What do they have in common? | # |
bill vanderbilt | | Hey Speedy
You wouldn't expect a silver headed old dude like me to know this but,,,,,,,,,,,,,you're probably right. I will take a shot at it though. No pun intended. I think they all died in office and all of their Mother's names was Matilda and they all had red hair. Not to mention that they were all the exact same age,,,,,,,,when they were born and they each had a father that was much older than them. Did I get it right Speedy. Haw, Haw Did I Did I. Haw Speedy, Did I get it right
May a smile follow you to sleep each night
And be there waiting
when you awaken.
Sincerly, BilldaddyPrivate Reply to bill vanderbilt |
| Feb 20, 2008 10:34 pm | | re: re: In honor of President's Day - Trivia Question - What do they have in common? | # |
Gery DiMarco | | Mirdza, you need to study up on your U.S. history. Test on Monday! Great to see you take a shot at it.
Somewhere in Billdaddy's answer are at least four of the five words to the answer.
Gery DiMarco
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| Feb 20, 2008 10:40 pm | | re: re: re: In honor of President's Day - Trivia Question - What do they have in common? | # |
Gery DiMarco | | Bill you actually had me reconsidering my answer. I believe they all did have father's considerably older than them at birth. Then again, they were all one year old on their first birthday, too. Neither, however, is the answer I'm looking for.
Gery DiMarco
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| Feb 20, 2008 11:38 pm | | re: re: re: re: In honor of President's Day - Trivia Question - What do they have in common? | # |
Ally | | Hey Unca Speedy...
Bill will do that to you.. he does it to me ALL the time. LOL
Thank goodness he got you this time.
Love Ya
Ally
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| Feb 22, 2008 2:16 am | | re: In honor of President's Day - Trivia Question - What do they have in common? | # |
Ally | | OK UNCA SPEEDY,
This li'l Allycats' BRAIN HURTS!!!!
Hey I did do research and really wrote everything down I could see that was ALL THE SAME in common lol
1)They all lived in the white house.
2)All had a means of transportation
3)They all used Letters (handwritten and some typed..will give those names here soon) and Telegraphs...and a couple used a phone as well as a telegram and letter.
Here are the names that used a Telegram and Letter (H=handwritten T= Typed)
Martin Van Buren (H)Letter
Abraham Lincoln (H) Letter & Telegram
Ulysses Grant (H) Letter & Telegram
Rutherford Hayes (H) Letter & Telegram
James Garfield (H) Letter & Telegram
Chester Arthur (H) Letter & Telegram & telephone
Grover Cleveland (T) Letter & Telegram
Benjamin Harrison (H) Letter & Telegram & Telephone
Theodore Roosevelt (T) Letter & Telegram
William Taft (H) Letter & Telegram
Thanks for the brain teaser LOL
Love
Ally
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| Feb 23, 2008 12:36 am | | re: re: In honor of President's Day - Trivia Question - What do they have in common? | # |
Gery DiMarco | | Ally? How do you tell someone you love that they ain't even close? But nice detective work. I won't say your answer is wrong but it's not the one I'm after.
The answer's as clear as the nose on their face. The simple answers are always the hardest to come by. I'm participating in a business rally in Kansa this weekend but I'll try to check back.
Gery DiMarco
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| Feb 23, 2008 4:46 pm | | re: re: re: In honor of President's Day - Trivia Question - What do they have in common? | # |
Ally | | They didn't have computers?
I am running out of ideas and info here Unca Speedy LOL.
Love ya
Ally
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| Feb 23, 2008 6:09 pm | | re: re: re: re: In honor of President's Day - Trivia Question - What do they have in common? | # |
bill vanderbilt | | Yo Speedy
I want my Allycat back. Her hair is a mess. Her nails are bit down to the second knuckle. She hasn't showerd, cooked a meal or did dishes for a week now. She sits up all night drinking coffee tapping on the keyboard. I have had to change all the diapers, do all the cooking, cleaning and child care. She is a wreck Speedy. She hasn't slept in days. Plesae Speedy. I want my Allycat back
May a smile follow you to sleep each night
And be there waiting
when you awaken.
Sincerly, BilldaddyPrivate Reply to bill vanderbilt |
| Feb 24, 2008 1:33 am | | re: re: re: re: re: In honor of President's Day - Trivia Question - What do they have in common? | # |
Ally | | Ok I showered, did the dishes and such.. now I feel human again.... I am going to do more research before you give the answer LOL.
Love Ya Unca Speedy
Ally
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| Feb 26, 2008 11:42 am | | re: re: re: re: re: re: In honor of President's Day - Trivia Question - What do they have in common? | # |
Ally | | OK Unca Sppedy... here is my last answer.. then I QUIT!!!!
They All wore glasses??
Love
Allycat
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| Feb 27, 2008 7:26 pm | | re: re: re: re: re: re: re: In honor of President's Day - Trivia Question - What do they have in com | # |
Gery DiMarco | | They all had facial hair!
Anything from mustaches to mutton chop sideburns!
Gery DiMarco
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| Feb 27, 2008 7:33 pm | | Horse around a little and rid the stress | # |
Gery DiMarco | |
Young and old have enjoyed this one for years
...but probably not continuously!Click here then click on the horses.
Gery DiMarco
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| Mar 04, 2008 4:25 pm | | re: Horse around a little and rid the stress | # |
Ally | | Good Grief... yeah like you said ... the easiest ones are always harder to find.
Thanks Unca Speedy LOL
Love Ya
Ally
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| Mar 05, 2008 9:29 pm | | More Mental Candy | # |
Gery DiMarco | | Will Shakespeare once wrote: "Drink provokes the desire but takes away the performance."
Absolut-ly
Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world's population.
Gery DiMarco
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| Mar 08, 2008 12:19 pm | | Mature pick up line | # |
Gery DiMarco | | Contributed by my friend Glenda Lowery a while back on the Mental Candy Network...
A very elderly gentleman, (mid nineties) very well dressed, hair well
groomed, great looking suit, flower in his lapel smelling slightly of a
good aftershave, presenting a well looked after image, walks into an
upscale cocktail lounge. Seated at the bar is an elderly looking lady,
(mid eighties). The gentleman walks over, sits along side of her, orders a drink, takes a sip, turns to her and says, "So tell me, do I come here often?"
Gery DiMarco
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| Mar 19, 2008 3:14 pm | | Travel Texas The Survivor Road Rally | # |
Gery DiMarco | | Being the Travel Director hear at the Pub I though tit would be great to invite everyone to travel through the great state I've called home for almost 40 years.... Texas
To make it interesting we'll do a little road rally and use these rules put up by Julie Johnson once on the Mental Candy Network.....modified slightly for political correctness and timeliness.
Texas Survivor
Contestants must travel from Amarillo through Fort Worth, Dallas, Houston, San Antonio and back to Amarillo, through San Marcos and Lubbock.
Each will be driving a pink Volvo with a rainbow bumper sticker that reads,
"Obama/Oprah in 'O8, I'm a vegetarian that supports gay rights...and I'm here to take your guns."
The first contestant to complete the round trip is the winner.
Gery DiMarco
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| Mar 20, 2008 9:57 am | | re: Travel Texas The Survivor Road Rally | # |
Charles DeJesus | | Hey Gery,
Sounds like it be safer to go to Spain and try to run-with-the-bulls with your legs tied at the knees.
I think I'll pass on this contest( even a turbo won't help much ).
Best Regards,
ChasPrivate Reply to Charles DeJesus |
| Apr 03, 2008 2:41 am | | re: re: Travel Texas The Survivor Road Rally | # |
bill vanderbilt | | Hey Speedy G
I used to live in Texas and therefore offer my condolences to all who try to complete this mission.
Hey, speaking of Texas
Why did the chicken cross the road?
It was trying to show an armidillo that it could be done.
May a smile follow you to sleep each night
And be there waiting
when you awaken.
Sincerly, BilldaddyPrivate Reply to bill vanderbilt |
| Apr 03, 2008 10:22 pm | | re: re: re: Travel Texas The Survivor Road Rally | # |
Gery DiMarco | | Not getting many takers, Bill.
Maybe if I throw in a chili cook-off tp spice things up a little
Gery DiMarco
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| Apr 05, 2008 11:14 am | | re: re: re: re: Travel Texas The Survivor Road Rally | # |
bill vanderbilt | | Hey Speedy
There is nothing like a good ole Texas Style Chile Cookoff to bring out a crowd. I have been to many of these super parties. They have them at bars all the time. In fact, that is why they have speed bumps on the way to the bathrooms.
May a smile follow you to sleep each night
And be there waiting
when you awaken.
Sincerly, BilldaddyPrivate Reply to bill vanderbilt |
| Apr 21, 2008 2:47 am | | Brain Food | # |
Gery DiMarco | | Here's a question I asked on The Mental Candy Network 3 years and 11 months ago, May 25, 2004.
Should get some interesting answers around here ...
If your brain were a fruit, which would it be and why?
Gery DiMarco
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| Apr 30, 2008 2:25 pm | | Airlines? No Wonder.... | # |
Gery DiMarco | | With all the goings on with safety concerns, I'm almost willing to believe this is an everyday occurance in the maintenance hanger.
Here's a Mental Candy Network flashback from September 2004
Ground Staff
After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet,which conveys to the mechanics any problems encountered with the aircraft during the flight that need repair or correction. The mechanics read and correct the problem, and then respond in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial action was taken, and the pilot reviews the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems as submitted by Qantas pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers.
(P = The problem logged by the pilot; S = The solution and action taken by the mechanics.)
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for.
P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.
Gery DiMarco
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| May 13, 2008 9:53 pm | | re: Brain Food | # |
Ally | | Hmmm If my brain were a fruit it would be a grape.. my brain would be a fruit salad lol... my brain is always mixed up lol.
What about you Unca Speedy?
Love Ya
Allycat
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| May 30, 2008 9:14 pm | | re: re: Brain Food | # |
Gery DiMarco | | Funny you should mention grapes, young lady.
They are part of #15,
From the vaults of Mental Candy: blog from New York comes...
Turns of phrase!
Some may take few seconds to click but I bet everyone will enjoy these.
1.Energizer bunny arrested; charged with battery.
2. A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
3. A pessimist's blood is always b-negative.
4. My wife really likes to make pottery; but to me it's just kiln time.
5. Dijon vu: the same mustard as before.
6. Practice safe eating; always use condiments.
7. I fired my masseuse today; she just rubbed me the wrong way.
8. A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
9. Shotgun wedding: a case of wife or death.
10.I used to work in a blanket factory, but it folded.
11.I used to be a lumberjack, but I just could not hack it and was axed.
12.If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons?
13.A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.
14.Marriage is the mourning after the knot before.
15.A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
16.Corduroy pillows are making headlines.
17.Is a book on voyeurism a peping tome?
18.Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.
19.Banning the bra was a big flop.
20.Sea captains don't like crew cuts.
21.Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
22.A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter.
23.Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
24.A gossip is someone with a great sense of rumour.
25.Without geometry, life is pointless.
26.When you dream in colour, it's a pigment of your imagination.
27.Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.
28.Reading whilst sunbathing makes you well-red.
29.When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.
Gery DiMarco
Discover health, wealth and wellness.
http://dimarco.vitamark.com
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| Mar 07, 2009 1:34 pm | | ADULT Irish Golf Humor | # |
Gery DiMarco | | Here's a fave from the Archives.
Taking a wee break from the golf course, Tiger Woods drives his new Mercedes into an Irish gas station. An attendant greets him in typical Irish manner, unaware who the golf pro is...
"Top o' the mornin to ya".
As Tiger gets out of the car, two tees fall out of his pocket.
"So what are those things, laddie?" asks the attendant.
"They're called tees," replied Tiger.
"And what would ya be usin 'em for, now?" inquired the Irishman.
"Well, they're for resting my balls on when I drive," replies Tiger.
"Aw, Jaysus, Mary an' Joseph!" exclaimed the Irish attendant. "Those fellas at Mercedes think of everything!"
Gery DiMarco
Making money doing what we did for free as kids.
Discover health, wealth and wellness... http://dimarco.vitamark.com
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| Apr 04, 2009 8:33 pm | | A Blonde Cook's Diary | # |
Gery DiMarco | |
I got this in an email the other day and remembered I had seen it somewhere before. Thinking back I remembered it from the Mental Candy forum. So here, from December of 2004 and the email I received over four years later is
The Blonde Cook...
MONDAY: It's fun to cook for Bob. Today I made angel food cake. The recipe said beat 12 eggs separately. The neighbors were nice enough to loan me some
extra bowls.
TUESDAY: Bob wanted fruit salad for supper. The recipe said serve without dressing. So I didn't dress. What a surprise when Bob brought a friend home for supper.
WEDNESDAY: A good day for rice. The recipe said wash thoroughly before steaming the rice. It seemed kinda of silly but I took a bath. I can't say it improved the rice any.
THURSDAY: Today Bob asked for salad again. I tried a new recipe. It said prepare ingredients, then toss on a bed of Lettuce one hour before serving. Which is what led up to Bob asking me why I was rolling around in the
garden.
FRIDAY: I found an easy recipe for cookies. It said put all ingredients in bowl and beat it. There must have been something wrong with this recipe. When I got back, everything was the same as when I left.
SATURDAY: Bob did the shopping today and brought home a chicken. He asked me to dress it for Sunday (oh boy). For some reason Bob keeps counting to ten before talking.
SUNDAY: Bob's folks came to dinner. I wanted to serve a roast. All I could find was hamburger. Suddenly I had a flash of genius. I put the hamburger in the oven and set the controls for roast. It still came out hamburger, much
to my disappointment!.
GOOD NIGHT DEAR DIARY. This has been a very exciting week. I am eager for tomorrow to come so I can try out a new recipe on Bob. If we could just get a bigger oven,
I would like to surprise him with Chocolate Moose.
Gery DiMarco
Learn how I Making money doing what I did for free as a kid.
http://www.vitamarkelite.com/580935
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| Apr 25, 2009 7:49 pm | | Low Carb Craze Gets Out of Hand | # |
Gery DiMarco | |
Here's one posted to the Mental Candy network back in Dec, 2004.
You'll know the low carb craze has gotten out of hand when you start seeing this...
Gery DiMarco
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