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Hi there... Hey I don't have a real job or anything so I'm not really a networking connection and I don't have a lear jet, but whatever. I'm in school. I go to USF. I am not really sure what I am going to do right after I graduate, but no one ever is I guess...I've always liked teaching. I've been a T.A. for awhile and I taught high school math last summer. just have to wait and see... I'm into surfing, golf, music... Oh yeah, I'm the To Go guy at Pasta Pomodoro Laurel Village now. My friend got me a job because I needed ends and then he got fired 3 days later, good timing. So if you see me in there go ahead and say hi. Q. What has nine arms and sucks? I think the whole posting of the number of hits a page gets is rather humiliating to those of us who get none. Maybe I should reregister as Michelle Futch. I just got word that I'm headed to Guatemala for 2 months in the summer for work. All expenses paid...woo hoo Ok here is the reality tv series idea... My friend Dave and I want to set the world record for most time spent in an RV without leaving...like not even getting out. We would hit full service gas stations, drive thru restaurants, drive thru liquor stores, etc. We want to film the whole thing and tour around the US picking up random people along the way. We also want to get some celebrities to ride along with us. Most of all, we want to get Neil Diamond and Snoop to ride with us, together if possible. We were also thinking about shipping our RV on a cargo ship to Europe and driving around there too (of course we would still have to be in it). The name and theme song of our series is "Let Me Ride." If anyone has any ideas or if anyone wants to help make this happen or if you just want to secure a spot on the RV, let me know... Here is the link to my page on hot or not...be honest, but only if you honestly think I'm a 10. http://www.hotornot.com/r/?eid=KEGLGES&key=HNB My housemates just signed up on ryze, drop by and tell them how much you love them... http://www.ryze.com/view.php?who=sneezyfrog http://www.ryze.com/view.php?who=Pravpotu Ok, so I'm a bit worried about my reality tv series right now because I just talked to dave who is the other half of this venture. He just moved to Iowa (not sure why) and is hard up for cash...so he's been selling plasma. But listen to the dodgy place he's going to. He asked the receptionist why kind of training the technicians get...are the nurses? are they med students? nope, she says "they are just regular people off the street." OFF THE STREET? can you even say that to someone just before you stick a needle in their arm? he plans on doing this twice a week for the next six months because it pays 30 bucks a pop. crikey. REALITY TV SERIES UPDATE: The finale for our little escapade is going to be a boat trip to Hawaii. We are going to have our RV shipped to Hawaii and, of course, the entire crew will remain inside the RV. When we get to the islands we are going to have a massive disembarking party where we finally leave the RV. I had been thinking that I wanted to hit all 50 states but not getting out of the RV in Hawaii would be especially torturous, hence the disembarking party. So if you'd like to join us, just bring your 30 pack of Bud Light. No more worries about Dave not making it alive out of Iowa because he has given up giving plasma after an unfortunate "incident" that made him realize the clinic was shady. So the RV trip is no longer in peril!!! Since only one person was curious about the answer to the above riddle, I will post another: Q. How many A.D.D. kids does it take to screw in a light bulb? Ok, so I finally heard back from the Guinness Book of World Records about the RV idea and was extremely disappointed. Here is a copy of the letter... Claim ID: 44442 Membership Number: 42596 12 March 2003 Dear Mr Futch Thank you for sending us the details of your recent record proposal for 'Longest time by two people in a van or most mileag'. I am afraid to say that we are unable to accept this as a Guinness World Record. We receive over 60,000 enquiries a year from which a small proportion are approved by our experienced researchers to establish new categories. These are not 'made up' to suit an individual proposal, but rather 'evolve' as a result of international competition in a field, which naturally accommodates superlatives of the sort that we are interested in. We think you will appreciate that we are bound to favour those that reflect the greatest interest. I appreciate that this may be disappointing to you, but I hope that this does not deter you from trying again. We are always keen to hear from people who wish to set a Guinness World Record. If you should need any advice regarding breaking an existing record or setting a new Guinness World Record please contact us again through our website or directly quoting the above membership number. Once again thank you for contacting Guinness World Records. We wish you every success with any future record-breaking endeavors. Please do not reply to this email, as this inbox is not monitored. If you have any queries regarding your claim, please contact us through our website, www.guinnessworldrecords.com, quoting the above membership id. Yours sincerely, Laura Baker Records Research Services They didn't even give me a real reason why my record wouldn't count. If someone can get into the book by not leaving their attic for 57 years, then I don't see why not leaving a van for an extended period of time is not a valid record attempt. Ok, I think that everyone should download this movie and watch it because its classic: http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/multimedia/bushblair_endlesslove.mov As the 1000 hits mark rapidly (well, sort of) approaches, there are some people that I feel I need to thank. First, there is Jon Polmar. Jon first introduced me to Ryze because he thought I would like the surfer's tribe (yes, back when networks were tribes. even ryze succumbs to political correctness at times). So none of this would have happened without him...thank you Jon. Secondly, I'd like to thank Lori. I had become a dormant ryze user until lori stumbled on my page and realized that I was a friend of a friend of a friend of hers and dropped me a note. Then there is Jason, whose tireless ryzing has inspired me to take my page to places I hadn't dreamed. I cannot forget my roommates for pushing me to keep my number of hits higher than theirs. Thanks prav. I'm not going to thank arno because I know he doesn't check his page anymore and will never read this. I'd also like to thank adel and co. for increasing the traffic on my page, because no one gets more hits than adel, and for some fun nights out on the town. Azul Demon, you already know how special you are. I would also like to thank all those anonymous users that don't leave messages, but just like to drop by and take a look...you are important to me too. I cherish every visitor to my page. Here's to our next 1000, 10000, and beyond... I was in Phoenix over Easter and I stumbled upon these guys at Alice Cooperstown. Needles to say, they are now one of my favorite bands...if you love guns and roses, you'll love this: http://www.hollywoodroses.net/ DO YOU KNOW WHERE YOU ARE??? YOU IN THE JUNGLE BABY!!! The prospect of getting a regular 9-5, 8-5 (whatever) job has got me thinking...traditionally, those have been the least productive hours of the day for me. I wake up around 11, have lunch at 4 (I'm not sure what I do with my time in between, it just disappears), and maybe finally become productive sometime around 9. I'm screwed. I should just become a night watchman. In celebration of my impending graduation, my roommates and I are throwing a party. We are currently in negotiations for the rental of a hot tub...how bling. Here is the evite to the pre-party (there will be a party and an after-party at the same location). Everyone is welcome, tell the doorman that the Ryze page referred you and he will give you a strange look as he lets you in. http://www.evite.com/pages/invite/viewInvite.jsp?event=FRRQXQEIXHICJTHKONWT&guestView=true&showPreview=false;%20onClick= Ok, the hot tub thing fell through. All for the best because now we have rented a bouncing castle, but its in the shape of a green dinosaur. Not so bling, but probably greater fun for a greater number of people... So I've only got a couple more days left before I head down south. I leave for Guatemala on June 4th and I don't come back until September 20th. I'm working on a research project for the first two months and then I've got the rest of the time to explore central america. These are my best options thus far: my roommate's old roommates moved to panama to build their own house right on three point breaks or one of my friends from grade school is the on-site manager of a surf motel in costa rica. I think the most difficult thing will be adjusting to a new haircut. I have to look somewhat professional so the locks are coming off tomorrow. Maybe I'll auction them off on ebay, because I need to make back all the money I've blown on belt buckles on that site...it becomes an addiction. June 10, 2003 Hey there all you futch-kateers, Just thought I would update you on what is happening down here. I´ve been in Guatemala City for about a week, with one side trip to Antigua on a very colorful bus with a maniacal driver. So far it hasn´t been too exciting. Guatemala City isn´t known for its nightlife and we have to be up pretty early. Everyday I have to put on clean, unwrinkled dress clothes and head to an office with my short hair. yep, I had to cut it all off. Guatemalans are somewhat on the conservative side, so I had to play along. Also, the food here kinda sucks...its pretty much just beans and rice or an american chain. The other night I asked the waiter for something in english because I forgot that I was in a spanish speaking country...I was eating a burger at fridays, watching the cubs-yankees game, and Nelly was playing in the restaurant. I sort of forgot where I was. We have about another week of work in the capital and then after that we start moving to the more remote parts to conduct our survey. That´s the part I´m really looking forward to...the capital is pretty large, modern, and not extremely safe (although some of the countryside is worse in terms of crime, but we won´t be in the areas that were hardest hit by the civil war). In a couple weeks we´ll be travelling through the jungle with parrots, howler monkeys, and jaguars...oh my. later. June 23, 2003 Still in the damn capital. We're leaving on wednesday for a town a couple hours from Guatemala city. My guide book describes it as "industrial and dilapidated" so we should have a blast. we've finally started the good part of the research project, where we go to huge markets with tiny shops or to businesses inside people's homes to interview them. we thought that people might be a little guarded when some big gringo comes into their house and asks them sensitive questions about their business and credit access, but they have all been fabulously friendly. one interview sticks out in my mind right now. we traveled for over an hour to the outskirts of the city to this run down town on the side of a huge hill. the man we met has 3 kids, the youngest of which was 12. the mother died when the youngest was about a year old. after that happened the father decided to change careers so he could work out of his home. he received a loan from the MFI we are working with and started producing clothes, mostly uniforms for all the schools. now he's got about 6 machines in the back of his house with three outside workers and the help of his older kids. and he sells the clothes at all the different markets around the city. well, thats all for now.... July 8, 2003 So I´m back in Guatemala City...yipee. But its only for a day, so I´ll survive. We spent the last couple weeks moving around the south of Guatemala. Esquintla, the industrial and dilapidated town, actually wasn´t as bad as the guidebook said. We worked there for three days and then headed to Panajachel on the lago atitlan for a little vacation. One of the days in esquintla I went to this little fishing village on the coast and interview fishermen all day. It was super hot, but interesting because this was an area where gringos don´t ever go. There were no hotels, hostels or anything conducive to travel...so a 6'2" gringo attracts quite a few stares. Panajachel is nicknamed "gringotenango" because so many gringos go there and end up staying. I could feel that pull quite strongly. Its just gorgeous. Although if I was going to become an ex-pat and stay there, I can tell you that I would not start wearing the indigenous attire. Blond gringo hippies in traditional mayan garb just look ridiculous. We stayed in Pana for a weekend, left for four days, and then went back for another weekend to meet our professor who had $500 for each of us...sweet. We decided to take out a canoe and try to find a good spot for swimming. The three of us piled in the canoe which the said was safe for three people....right. We made it to another spot on the lake and swam around for awhile and then decided to head back in because the weather was turning. After about 20 minutes into the return trip things didn´t look so good. The wind had picked up and was causing little waves to crash over the side of our boat. Poco a poco, we were sinking. One of us jumped out to swim and lighten the load, but that only bought us about five minutes. We decided to flag down the next boat that came by, which was a 10 person ferryboat. Just as he pulled up our boat went under. All our stuff was floating around in the lake. The ferryboat full of tourists and guatemalans had a nice laugh at our expense. We climbed into the boat and he dropped off his passengers at the dock. He took us back to our half sunken boat in the middle of the lake and towed it back to shore, where everyone was watching. July 9, 2003 So I hit 2000, and 1000 seems like yesterday. How could it have been anyone but Jason? Glad you are there for me man. July 11, 2003 We are up in Flores now, in the north of Guatemala. We had the most productive three days at the branch here. We had been having so many problems tracking down the former borrowers, but up here they don't seem to move around as much and are easier to locate. Usually we have to take the bus all over the place to get to the clients, but up here the bus system is pretty basic and sporadic, so most of the asesores (loan officers) here have cars. One of them has a motorcylce instead of a car and we were arguing over who had to go with him because riding around on a motorcylce in this heat didn't sound like a fun thing. Eventually I volunteered for the job, i think partly because I just finished reading the motorcylce diaries of che guevara. It was actually alot of fun. We were cruising all over the place on the asesor's dirtbike type moto and a handful of the streets were actually paved. The town is on the small side, so we kept getting all sorts of honks and hollers from Napo's (the asesor) friends. I can imagine their surprise when they see their friend riding around with a big gringo trying to stay on the back of his motorcycle. After about 5 minutes on the motorcyle we had hit a few bumps that caused the seat to recoil so hard and hit the tire guard that he turned to me and asked, "How much do you weigh?" I have never been too concerned about my weight, but in the last week I have sunk a canoe and almost damaged the shocks on a motorcyle...maybe I should start to worry. So how many of you loved the Star Wars movies? Well, tomorrow I am going to a Star Wars tourist attraction. It also happens to be the some of the best Mayan ruins in central america, but I knew it first as the rebel base in Star Wars. July 13, 2003 Traveling with the same people for an extended period of time is starting to wear on me. There are certain friends of mine that are very good friends, but I would never travel with them. Other friends I have I could travel around with until we ran out of destinations. On this research project I am traveling with two students from my school. One of them I have known for a year but just through school...at no point in our acquaintance did I think to hang out with him in social situations, but now we are traveling together and sharing a room every night for two months. hasta luego July 16, 2003 I´m in a much better mood today, so there will be less bitching. We are staying in a shitty hotel here in Flores, but we know how to freeload. There is a nice hotel with a pool that has barstools in it and you can order beers from the bar, so thats how i spent my afternoon. In fact, i am still dripping wet in the internet cafe while telling you this...thus, the better mood. I have a couple stories that revolve around the word "gringo." The other day I was interviewing this 80 year old man in his store when a little girl, probably about 5 or 6, runs in the store, looks at me, says "gringo," and runs out...it was hilarious. Then a couple hours later I was walking towards my hotel when three kids were riding on a horse and buggy type thing carrying firewood when one of them sees me and and yells "Mira! Gringo!" Apparently there arent alot of gringos passing through the town. In the middle of this little town, La Libertad, they had a park with a church, a playground, a soccer field, and a basketball court. One of the afternoons I saw some kids playing basketball so I had to do it. I ran out there and asked if i could play with them. They were totally stoked to have me play with them and after a little while they were calling me Jason Kidd because I threw a couple behind the back passes just to show off. The comparison with Jason Kidd is obviously completely unfounded, if anything my style of play is more like Mark Eaton. But it was a blast. I gotta tell this story even though it happened a couple weeks ago. We were trying to get to Panajachel (pictured above) and all the boats had stopped running because it was almost sunset. There was another group of gringos who actually lived there and were trying to get there too. We ended up finding a guy who had a boat and would take all of us there. The thing was that the other gringos were a family and traveling with their 85 year old grandma who also happened to be completely senile and incredibly frail. She asked me to help her stand up, so i did and then she says, it hurts right here and points to her heart...i was like "holy shit, this lady is going to die while i am helping her and they are going to blame me." But, as it turns out, she complains about that pain in her heart every five minutes...nothing new. When we got to pana, where she lives, she asked us where she was. We replied, "You are in Panajachel, where you live." And she asks us, "Is that in Canada?" Woah...a little off grandma. Well, thats enough for today... July 20, 2003 Exactly 2 months left in the trip. Although things almost came to a screeching halt the other day. I injured my rotator cuff about a year and a half ago from surfing and I aggravated it in the aforementioned basketball game. The day after I was a little sore, a little more the next day, and on the third day I was in incredible pain. I couldn't lift or move my right arm at all. I woke up at 5 am because I couldnt sleep and I was convinced that I was gonna have to get on the next bus back to the capital and the next plane back home. So I took a bunch of ibuprofen, put my arm in a sling and went on a 6 mile hike to a series of water falls that were absolutely gorgeous. Now my arm is feeling quite a bit better and I haven't even taken any ibuprofen today although they have other things here in the caribbean that are thought to relieve pain. This shoulder thing might have put surfing later in jeopardy, but at least i don't have to go home and have surgery. We are in this town called livingston on the caribbean coast that is supposed to be relaxing and friendly. But I'm finding it to be just a total freeloading town. We went to a discoteca last night and all night long guys were coming up to me asking for cigarettes and sips of my buy, or one guy asked, 'if possible, could you buy me a beer.' no its not possible. its like the snoop dogg song, 'they all got cups but they ain't chipped in.' They would literally go to the bar and get an empty cup and come up to you and ask you to pour some for them. This wasn't an isolated incident...this was every minute for the entire night. Every single guy is selling weed, but not one has a cigarette. They would also ask you for the cigarette you were smoking. gotta go. July 25, 2003 So last night I was watching TV in my hotel room and some music video came on and it had midgets wrestling each other but somewhat graphically. Normally, I love midgets and they always seem to be funny. But I was in a different frame of mind this night and started thinking about the plight of the midget. Midgets are treated as second class humans. When we see a midget, its automatically funny. What if it were say, hispanic people, that we just automatically pointed at and laughed at? Will there ever be a midget president? What percentage of the midget population works outside of the entertainment industry? Will there ever be midgets that are executives of major companies or top level managers? I was relaying my new feelings on midgets to one of my travel companions and she replied, "So you think that midgets have to deal with a glass ceiling?" and i replied, "Yeah, but more like a glass table." Even when i was honestly concerned with their plight, I could not keep myself from making fun. Midgets have it rough. August 23, 2003 So its been awhile since I updated this thing. The research project is all finished and i am rolling solo through central america. I bussed it down to nicaragua and spent a couple of weeks there. Nicaragua is so cool. I'm in costa rica now, but i think I prefer nicaragua because down here its like LA, except with less spanish here. Everybody is blond and speaks english. I've got to tell you about my nightmare traveling down here from nicaragua. so i headed south to costa rica yesterday and didnt quite make it. i got stuck in puntarenas, "the (new) jersey of costa rica." i was staying at the cheapest place in town and i didnt realize it until after dinner, but it doubles as a whore house. when i came back there were all these girls just hanging around the place on the 50 year old expats. so i left and went to a bar and for the first time in 6 months it was raided by immigration. i didnt have my papers on me so i had to sneak out while la migra was wrestling some illegal nicas in the street. then at about 1 in the morn i am watching tv in the common room and one of those "ladies" walks in and starts smoking rock....dont stay the night in puntarenas is the lesson i learned yesterday. but now i am in jaco and all is happy and less sleazy again. late September 5, 2003 Hey so Jaco wasn´t really that cool. I got sick of Costa Rica kinda fast because it just seemed so touristy, like disneyland but old ex-pat americans and people on packaged vacations. The expat americans usually suck big time. They live there for 5 or 10 years and still cant speak a word of spanish, instead they just yell their english really loudly. I had to stay there for longer than i wanted because i was broke. Once i got an influx of cash from the security deposit of our apartment, i took the next bus out of town. I wasnt sure if I was going to go north or south but the next bus was going south. So now i´m in panama. Panama is dope. Much fewer jackass tourists (note-i am a tourist, just not a jackass tourist) here than costa rica. i was up in the highlands for a couple days climbing around the cloud forests and seeing a 55 meter tall waterfall in one of the national parks that i had all to myself. Now i am the city of David which isnt a tourist destination but i am going to stay here for a couple of days because i met a cute panamanian girl. well, i gotta go to the river to going swimming with my new friend. hasta later. September 6, 2003 So now i have found myself in sort of a predicament. There are actually 2 cute panamanian girls here. One I met while in the highlands and one in David. The one from the highlands usually lives in David, but her family lives in Guadalupe (highlands). We had talked about meeting up in David in two days time, but when i called her cell phone the message was a man´s voice and her email address didnt exist. I figured I was getting the cold shoulder (nothing new, i´m used to it) but it was strange because she didnt seem the type for that. I went to the discoteca we had planned to go to but didnt find her there either, but i did find the other girl. Now I have spent the last couple days with this other girl, Joanna, all the while being worried about running into the first one. I guess this is the closest I have come to cheating on someone, but I dont think it counts. So today I am walking through the town square and I hear someone call, "Miguel!" Its the first girl, Magda. The voice on her cell phone was her brother´s because they share it and she hadn´t been able to come to David until 4 days after she expected (today). She got all my messages but had no way of contacting me and the email was wrong because she hardly ever uses email and made a mistake writing it down (or am i being gullible). So now I am stuck. oh well, I´ll figure it out. September 10, 2003 Yeah, so I figured it out....leave the city. I bought a ticket for Panama City and got here yesterday morning. I went to a bar last night and they were charging 2.75 for that same beer that I was paying 40 cents for while in David...moment of panic...did i make the wrong choice....two girls and 40 cent beers and I left???? No, it´ll all be ok. I am going to hit the town proper tonight with a guy I met while in one of the highland towns. Jorge knows this town and we´re gonna take it down. If its not all ok, then I´ll just go back and get some more 40 cent beers. I love a place where you can walk into the supermarket and buy a six pack of beers and cigarettes and only pay 3 bucks. I´ve only got a few more days left down here and then I´ve got to make the long haul back up to Guatemala because that´s where i´ve got to fly out of. It should be a nice 4 or 5 solid days on the bus to get there, but its all good because they play movies the whole time and over air condition the bus...I swear to god you could get hypothermia in a first class bus down here. bien cool. later that same day.... I´ve decided to drop the first name officially. I´m going for the Prince, Cher, Madonna one name thing. Maybe in a little while Ryze will accept my name as a symbol. Just have to find a good one. I´m not an artist by any stretch of the imagination...so i guess it would have to be something like..."The guy formerly known as..." or "The dude formerly known as..." I´ll come up with something. October 12, 2003 So I've been back in the US for a couple weeks now and am pretty much adjusted. Although really I haven't had to do much adjusting because I still don't have a job. I spent a week in SF catching up with old friends, then rideshared it down to LA and had a good time there with some friends, then down to San Diego to punish my liver a little more with my sisters and their friends and now I am back at my parents house in Phoenix. I've got a couple job interviews in DC in a few weeks, so I think I might wait tables and eat my parents food in the meantime. I ended up being too broke to take the first class bus from panama to guatemala so I rode the chicken buses all day long for 6 straight days to get back. It was sort of like a self induced coma because i would just stare out the window for hours and hours on end with no music or form of entertainment apart from whatever craziness was happening on the bus. My mind would just wander over everything and nothing all at the same time. Someone asked me if at any point I felt in real danger over the last couple months and I had to reply, "yes." I was riding a bus carrying all my stuff through these downtown neighborhoods that just sort of had the stench of menace. But I wasnt in Nicaragua or Guatemala, I was riding the public bus to Union Station in downtown Los Angeles. Sketch. October 15, 2003 This is the worst day of my life. How could the cubs lose three straight games? They had Wood and Prior pitching games 6 and 7 and still couldn't do it. I went to Harry Carey's old bar in Mesa where you could just feel the collective pain when Paul "I'm a catcher but I can't catch" Bako flew out to left field to end it. But really the pain was just slowly increased little by little from the time the marlins took the lead for the second time through every useless at-bat by the cubs until I was sweaty and nauseous. I hope that "Cubs fan" that knocked the ball away from Moises in Game 6 gets gonorrhea. Next year. October 22, 2003 Well, I'm still in Phoenix and not doing a whole hell of alot. I got my job interviews lined up in DC next week, so until then I'll just be entertaining myself at my parents' house. I spent the afternoon taking pictures of me and my dog wearing blublockers...maybe i'll go play some golf. My mom reminds me everyday that DC is more conservative and that I should cut my hair...i guess one of these days i'll give in. November 8, 2003 The hair has officially come off. I am nice and clean cut, if you ignore my clothes. I did the interview thing in DC and it looks like I'll be heading out there for an internship in the Treasury. The treasury secretary is actually coming out to Phoenix to give a speech and then in the afternoon I'm playing golf with him, my little brother, and one of his secret service agents. There is gonna be secret service crawling all over the course...it'll be great. My dad would play but he still can't swing a golf club after having knee surgery a couple weeks ago, so he'll just ride around on the golf cart. I've been thinking that I really should learn some HTML...so many people can do all sorts of little tricks and my page is just a huge block of text..so boring. January 31, 2004 Ok, so its been awhile since i added anything to this page and since then everything has changed. I wake up every morning and put on a suit...and not the Don Johnson suit...plus i have to wear long underwear underneath my suit cuz its balls cold here. I sit at a desk and do research all day and then get on the metro with a million other people to go home. I like the internship...they don't pay me...it would be a lot cooler if they did, but its good experience i guess. Now I am thinking about getting a job out here after my internship is over. If I can't find anything I guess I'll wander back to the west coast and become a beach bum. Sign in to be able to view starskyandfutch's guestbook and friends list!
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