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Legal Needs [This Network is not currently active and cannot accept new posts] | | Topics
Its legal to laugh:-))Views: 143
Feb 17, 2008 8:49 am re: re: re: Legalese

Ritu
Legal Glossary aka legal mumbo jumbo demystified

(part I from A-C)

Arbitration=
An alternative method of resolving disputes wherein both parties agree to abide by the decision of an arbitrator, who is generally an out of work judge who has lost most of his marbles.

Bankruptcy=
The formal condition of a person being deemed insolvent under law, a situation a good number of people end up in after paying their lawyer’s bill. By declaring bankruptcy, the person agrees to divert his or her remaining assets to the lawyer handling the bankruptcy.

Barrister->
English derivation of the French term for bastard.

Bill-able hours=
Hours billed to the client, however; should not be confused with time actually spent working on the case. A complex algebraic algorithm is utilized by lawyers to determine the time they bill to each case. The formula is as follows: time actually spent working on case plus time spent thinking about case while at lunch plus amount of the lawyer’s car payment multiplied by a factor of 4.

Breach of trust=
Whenever clients attempt to surreptitiously keep the lawyer from knowing that they still have a little money left in their bank account.

Capital punishment=
The lawyer fees the client must pay.

Caveat emptor=
Latin for “let him beware of the lawyer.”

Confession=
When the accused decides its far better to admit to the crime and face the electric chair than be forced to listen to the loud mouth lawyers for even one more mind numbing minute.

Contingency fee=
A fee arrangement between the lawyer and his or her clients that stipulates the following: If they lose the case - the lawyer gets nothing. If they win the case - the clients get nothing.

Criminal lawyers->
Aren’t they all?






Private Reply to Ritu (new win)





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