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The CopyWriters Connection [This Network is not currently active and cannot accept new posts] | | Topics
Requesting feedback on book burb - take #2Views: 131
Mar 15, 2006 10:53 am Feedback on book burb - take #2 - by Farrukh

farrukh_copywriter(at)yahoo.com
Hi Glenda,

Wonderfully rewritten! Must have taken quite some effort to tick all the boxes.

I'll just post in my comments (in brackets) on this:


(I really like what Murray has suggested to draw any reader in - beginning with a "What would YOU do..." angle is a good hook I think - you could use it as the opener)

Resulting from a lack of oxygen at birth, Glenda was diagnosed with (try to keep one tense, in this case, past tense, coz you're recounting your story) cerebral palsy. This meant she would not be able to walk, her hands wouldn't function well and her speech would be almost impossible to understand. Her parents were advised to institutionalize her. She wouldn't amount to anything, the experts said.

(Now Glenda, don't answer the question HOW she did it here... that's what your book should do for the reader)

Yet, Glenda integrated into a regular classroom long before mainstream was a buzzword. She went on to earn the Canada Cord, the highest award in Girl Guides and the Outstanding Junior Student Award. The lady who could not walk won a gold medal in horseback riding!

(Glenda - while you want to say that people with challenges have the same aspirations and hopes and struggles as everyone else, let your book 'demonstrate' that - but you need not say so while marketing your book, so the para that was here can go)

How did she do it? Read Glenda's inspiring autobiography "I'll Do It Myself: A Collection of Memories from a Woman Living with Cerebral Palsy", due out later this year. Glenda intimately shares her life story which proves that cerebral palsy is not a death sentence, but rather a life sentence. (Glenda - I love this line - beautiful really!)

Visit www.BooksbyGlenda.com for more information and to sign up to receive book excerpts monthly and pre-launch specials.

(so that's about it - the more I read about you Glenda, the more I would like to hear your story ;-)

farrukh
copywriter, journalist, potential blogging sensation


Private Reply to farrukh_copywriter(at)yahoo.com (new win)





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