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| Jan 29, 2008 1:32 pm |
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NLP Presuppositions - pathways to empowering beliefs |
Amruth Kumar
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In 'The NLP Experience' program, I have everyone describe themselves in the 'self sketch'.
There was this girl who described herself as 'I'm a very emotional person, I can become upset very easily.'
She said that she was 'anxious' to change this.
'Anxious ' or eager' I asked?
She looked puzzled for a moment, then brightened up & said 'Yes, eager'.
I asked her, 'Tell me what you want to be?'
'I don't want to be emotional,' she said.
ME: 'Why, I think being emotional is a very rare quality. It helps you to connect to others on a personal level, doesn’t it?’
She: ‘Yes, but I mean emotional as in getting easily upset. Little things to upset me.’
Me: ‘Think of a time when you were emotional & you felt good .'
She: 'What! I thought you were supposed to help me.’
Me: ‘And I am. Tell me about a time when being emotional actually helped you.’
She thought hard & said, ‘Actually, lot’s of times.
Whenever the HR department has problems handling a troubled employee, they call me. Most employees find it easier to share information with me as they think I listen well.’
‘Wow, you have a gift! So what’s the problem?’ I enquired
She: ‘But I still get easily upset & that’s what I want to handle.’
Me: ‘OK, now let’s play -act for a moment. Imagine how you’d feel if you were actually able to handle that. How would it be?’
‘That would be …..just great!’ she said , eyes glazing over. I noticed that she had a wistful look in her eyes.
‘OK now I’m going to ask you to do something which may sound silly, but trust me & do it.'
'Imagine yourself as someone who is supremely in control of your emotions, someone who is thoughtful empathetic & yet firm & in control.'
'Say to yourself, “I am a very empathetic, emotionally in control person. I am easily able to handle my emotions & everyone just loves me!” Say it to yourself with a lot of conviction. As you keep saying it, begin to change your body language, face expression to match the words.’
'I want you to "believe & act as if it were true."
I could see her expression change to a wistful look. She began to look more calm.
She came out of her reverie & said , ’That was great ! But….. will it last?’
‘Do you want it to?’ I asked.
‘Of course!' She said.
‘Then begin to believe it will & it surely will !’ I signed off.
And that’s how I left her with two pre-suppositions.
To ‘Pre-suppose’ means ‘suppose if this were true’.
The way to use NLP presuppositions is to ' believe & act as if it were true'.
With NLP, you don't try to find out if anything is ‘true’ or false’; what matters is whether anything it is ‘useful’ or ‘useless'.
We have always used some form of presupposition in our lives. When we were kids - if we got scared of the dark - our parents would ask us to pray.
And the very act of praying would make us feel better. We believed & therefore acted on the presupposition that God would help us. And most times ,it did.
Ever heard of the saying, ‘If you think you can, or you think you can’t, either way you’re right.’
That’s an example of a presupposition.
Pre-suppositions are very powerful beliefs that we carry in our heads about ourselves & the world around us.
If we think that we can’t do something- say drive in traffic or make a speech- we most likely won’t be able to do it.
What happens is that when we use a limiting belief , our brain sends signals to our body telling it ( actually commanding it ) to act according to our beliefs. Soon these limiting beliefs take control & make us less effective than what we can be.
NLP pre-suppositions are empowering beliefs that we can use to change the way we look at ourselves & they world around us. It is said that ‘ We don’t describe the world we see, we see the world we (choose to) describe.’
Some of the powerful NLP presuppositions I have used in my life to dramatic effect are:
1) ‘There is no failure, only feedback’
When we don’t achieve something we set out to, we can call it failure & feel demoralized or cal it feedback & try again.
2) ‘If one human can do it, another can too.’ Physical attributes apart , if one person can do something –like speak well- another can too. He or she should change their limiting beliefs.
You can learn lots more Presuppositions when you attend ‘The NLP Experience’ – a 3 day journey into the world of NLP .
Dates: 8th,9th & 10th Feb,2008.
Venue: Xavier Hall, Ashirwad, St. marks road, Bangalore.
For program brochure & participation, email me NOW at : amruth(at)greatscope.com. or call 98860-36125.
And empower your life!!
Amruth
http://www.greatscope.com
PS: Dates for the Chennai program are almost finalized. Mumbai too is shaping up. Watch this space for more information.Private Reply to Amruth Kumar (new win) |
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