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| Dec 02, 2005 6:58 pm |
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re: re: re: I've finally given into the organizing monster... (clog up own attempts to take action) |
Deborah Gallardo
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I've known for a long time that looking at the enormity of what needs to be done will cause me to just shut down. I thought it was a character flaw. Just reading those words, that it's because that's how my brain works, brought tears to my eyes.
For years I've put myself down, been criticized by others, called myself names, been called a few by others, and lost a wonderful husband of 24 years(!) in large part because I didn't know how to deal with the gargantuan task of organizing a 4-bedroom house that was in (mostly) utter chaos. I'd look at the piles of laundry and instead of pulling out the dark clothes to wash, I'd go to bed. In the middle of the day. Or I'd lose myself on the computer. Anything but facing whatever humongous task was looming.
And there was always one looming. Still is, actually. I moved the end of July while doing a semi-professional production of Disney's "Beauty and the Beast." (I was Mrs. Potts, got to sing the title song, the whole schmere.) Anyway, it's now Dec. 2, four months later and I still have yet-to-be-unpacked boxes piled 3 high, plus my mom's garage is full of stuff I moved from old garage that I'd schlepped from storage after the divorce. Most of it is trash, but I can't face it very often.
Thank you for speaking the truth. It may not be a character flaw, but it is a brain flaw, isn't it? I'm not in my right mind... That kind of thing? Something isn't firing right in my brain. I hope I can learn how to take those brain f*rts and use them to my advantage.
Deb Gallardo Private Reply to Deborah Gallardo (new win) |
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