I think the content is great but it needs to be rearranged to put the focus on one of the following:

-> How your art is raising money to facilitate the preservation of history.

-> How your art is bringing to life the sacrifices, heartache, and incredible battles fought by these soldiers.

By opening up with a paragraph about you and your art exhibit, this comes across more as an advertisement, and the community, philanthropist flavor is drowned out.

Also, I am Canadian so I didn't know what the acronym in your release title meant. I would spell this out and perhaps shorten the overall title. You want to grab people by the heart strings with this one. Pull at their sense of patriotism and identity. Show them how your art is preserving their heritage.

Hope this helps Jeff.

Karri Flatla, B.Mgt.
snap! virtual assistance inc.
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