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I need some feedback

Aug 22, 2006 4:44 pm

re: re: I need some feedback

Reg Charie

Robb,
The use of bullet points in web copy is well documented.
Try reading Jacob Nielsen's web usability series for more info on the subject. http://www.useit.com/alertbox/20030825.html

Isn't "Guide your children to grow up to become confident happy adults." getting into the customer's head and addressing their "need"?
It immediately addresses "What's in this for me?"
The next line, "Help your child develop a positive self-esteem." tells them the benefits.
Then the "Children that do:" and the bulletted list gets into more specifics and ends with a call to action.

How would you improve this?

Reg

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