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| Jul 05, 2005 5:43 am |
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re: re: re: Okay, My "Inner Guidance" Needs a Second Opinion :-) (and a request) |
Monica Ricci
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Marilyn,
First, thank you for sharing this with the group, as I'm sure it will be a good discussion that others can learn from. :) You're kind to do so.
I'll try to be brief (no promises though!). It does indeed sound as though you are truly finished with that business and that aspect of your life. However, just because you're finished with something, doesn't mean it never happened or it didn't matter. Understanding this and striking an appropriate balance in your life between the past and the present is crucial, in my opinion.
For example, I still have my first wedding album and that's fine with my current husband. Just because that marriage didn't last forever, does that mean it wasn't special? That it didn't happen? That my first husband isn't a fine human being? No. I choose to recognize that and respect it by keeping our wedding album. Does it mean I love my current husband any less? Of course not. It just connects me to my past in a way that doesn't infringe upon the present. We all do this with various "things" in our lives.
As human beings, we feel a need to benchmark our lives, to chronicle our achievements and to create a legacy of sorts. We need to think our existence mattered. This is why we keep photographs, scrapbooks and countless other items that remind us of the past.
Be aware that keeping things from the past does not always mean you're stuck or living in the past. We all want roots to our past, and keeping items does that for us. It connects us to our past as we live in the present. It's really a lovely way to weave the fabric of your life when you think about it.
I can tell you pride yourself in staying in control of clutter and on top of everything, so don't think of yourself as living in the past or being stuck there, just because you're being challenged by these materials. I'm willing to bet that there are a two main factors coming into play here.
1. THE MONEY. We all like to think we're smart. And when we make a buying mistake, whether we realize it in the moment or later down the road, we don't feel so smart. This might be a little bit of guilt/remorse about having spent so much money on something that you're now not going to fully get value from. So what do you do to reconcile it and move on?
I run into this a lot with my clients and here is what we do. I go into "question asking mode".
Will keeping those items bring that money back? (No.)
Is there a way you can sell or trade those items to recoup some of your investment? (sometimes yes, sometimes no)
Did you buy those items using your very best judgment and all the information you had at the time? (Usually the answer here is yes).
Did you get value or joy from this purchase? (usually it's yes).
So what we've discovered is that you did get value or joy from this purchase, but sometimes the best laid plans don't work out the way you want and you can't control that. But what you CAN control is where you go from here, and whether you will continue to allow those items to cause you any mental, emotional or physical pain (pain = loss of time, energy, space, etc) or whether you will release them, forgive yourself for making what you might be considering a mistake, and know that you did the best you could in this situation.
2. YOUR IDENTITY & SELF-WORTH. These business materials are from an important part of your life and career. Throwing them away in some way, represents the finite end of that chapter of your life. Perhaps you are just a smidge sad about that, and who could blame you? Our lives move from one stage to the next and it's okay to look back with fondness on the past, as long as you don't let it hold you back from achieving your future.
(yeah, I said I'd try to be brief...hahaha. Good one!)
When working with my clients, I always try to draw them to their own conclusions by offering alternatives to what they had been thinking. I try to "interrupt their loop" so to speak. I want them to think about their situation differently, so they can come to a result that they're happy with. I do this by asking a lot of questions, making suggestions, presenting options and monitoring how they feel during the process.
If you're asking for a specific recommendation, it would be this:
See if you can recycle these materials. I don't know if the foil will prevent them from being recycled or not, but it's worth a try at your local recycling place. If you can, do so. If you can't, suck it up and let the trash guy take them. It might be hard, but you can do it.
BUT FIRST, take one of each of the different items (envelopes, letterheads, whatever you have left) and have them professionally framed together into a beautiful box frame, so you can display them on your wall to honor your past and your achievements forever.
Also, maybe save a small amount (ten??) if that will make you feel better. Box them, label them and make sure you know where they live, because if you honestly might need them again to give to anyone, you'll want to know where they are. When you revisit that box in another few years, time will have made your fondness wane and you might just decide then that you are ready to ditch the last few because you'll have the framed beautiful ones to preserve your memory of that time in your life.
I hope this is helpful, Marilyn. Let me know what you decide.
Monica 
Private Reply to Monica Ricci (new win) |
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