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| Jul 25, 2007 3:46 pm |
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re: Profile critique #20 - Paul Steven |
Suzette Flemming
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Hi, Paul ~
I would like to see more information about your business. Why photography? What makes it a passion for you? Why do you focus on the three - Biz portraits, family portraits and events (what type of events, btw).
I would like to see you highlight the "on wheels" as your USP. Hook people into going to your web site to see more of your work (and to book your services).
I like your paragraph about PM's and building rapport. Although, I think it may be better placed further down the page after business. May be right before your GB on the page?
So how about subject headers. Photo Shop on Wheels (business), The Best Gift the Internet Gave Me (personal), The Long Road (running), Being My Friend Takes Effort (PM, GB).
I agree with the assessment of the font. It is too bold for me. It's almost shouting at me. I think the larger font is good just not the bold black. I hope that makes sense.
Suzette
*****
http://www.FlemmingBusinessServices.com
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Private Reply to Suzette Flemming (new win) |
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