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A Ryze Chennai presentation :Views: 228
Jul 08, 2009 11:29 am re: re: re: re: re: re: A Ryze Chennai presentation :

Ganesh Ram
Heavy rains lashes the city,Vishal drives into the cross road in his black fiat,the road lamps mirrors in the puddle of water,the water lashing on to his car's bonnet,he stops his car to a halt in front of his 3 storeyed apartment,the gurkha is already sleeping,the hat pulled over his face, vishal opens the gate,walks upto the lift,he turns back,finds the gurkha still sleeping,and vishal murmuring to himself that these guys need a whacking on their butt,just then he hears the sound the carrom coins make hitting the frame,from the first floor.

On hearing the Carrom coins he wonders how on earth can the Gurkha sleep with all the din. Slowly while he enters the lift his thoughts drift to his aunt, a prolific writer, who was many decades ago an undisputed Carrom champ in her office. Being a naturally distracted person his thoughts drift again to why the sons of the soil are denied jobs as watchmen in Chennai.

"My God! there are one too many to script a new path in "A Ryze Chennai presentation " Very good going please do continue it is hilarious!" the voice of his uncle was heard saying as he got out of the house and headed for the lift with the script writer cousin who regularly frequented their house.

Not wishing to be dragged into the script being written he hid himself near the mid-landing of the service staircase stifling a cough as his throat hurt in the nicotine stench laden air there.

But the first smell, was that nicotine? But "it does not seem to be" wondered the hero, Just them not too near and not too far a faint figure seemed to be standing under a lamp post, one leg firmly on ground. The smoke came from the silhouette. And smelt more like burning nicotine laced hair.

The faint figure standing under the lamp post appears to have injured his big toe and a drop of blood is oozing out.

But now the 'clot thickens' as it is coagulating!

Now the silhouette figure starts moving with a slight limp just as the moon comes out partly from the clouds.

There is sudden howl in the wind as it picks up speed and sends the windows rattling in the building in a staccato beat!

Suddenly the door of the lift opens and there comes the Uncle with the script writer cousin, loudly discussing what could be coming next in the story.

'hahahahahahahahha' laughs the Uncle loudly and says to the cousin, 'your aunty can never stop playing carroms and I am sure the next door neighbours are going to complain soon'.

But his laugh stops in the middle, when he sees the limping figure moving towards him. Cousin and me just look at the figure and what we see? Are we seeing the reality or is it a ghost because the figure seems to float as it comes nearby.

Suddenly from behind aunty shrieks, "Lalooji! what a surprise! Didn't even tell us that you are to come. Have you come alone? Is she with you, your friend from the platform I mean?" Then she notices his limp and turns pale whilst asking, "What happened? you seem hurt. Come let me tie you up. Bandage I mean." Saying so much she had already started wiping clean the wound.

Aunty has finished cleaning the wound and ties the bandage.

But she is a little tongue tied and cannot talk from the exertion.

Now the silence is broken when a sudden down pour starts again & a bright lightening streaks across the sky followed by the reverberating thunder.

Lalooji just smiles and contemptuously shouts towards the sky"chup" to derail & change the tempo of the train of thought.

He is aware that lot pruit trees in the vicinity are enjoying the bountiful rains, so smiles at them benovelently.

Raising his little finger Lalooji says, "I am very very happy and proud to see that your building committee has decided to engage a Gurkha who has come as a refugee from Nepal. Very very good global integration. Keep it up."


Hearing this, there is a naughty smile on the Gurkha's lips. He thinks to himself 'now, even BB cannot say "sharukh is not a good actor. I came here to learn how a Gurkha works in an envrironment other than his own so that I can show the real Gurkha in the make believe world of film making but after working here for the last 6 days and being with the children of the apartment, I feel, I won't be able to leave this work. Moreover, the soft idly's with the sambhar given by the aunty everyday - OMG! will I be able to live without that?"


But "Rubber singh" is standing in the shadows along with his side kict ser sor and observing the moments of the residents asingh" alert the gurkha is to plan a heist.

his surkha suddenly wakes on hearing a sound gets on his fedents a flash but there is a sudden twist now to the plot,the ankle oly wakha is sprained .

Then......n his ..

He, the gurkha simply forgot about the singing rubber and the sambar without idli. He then slowly came near the staihe gurto get his daily breakfast. He knew he had got ahe samloaf of bread and a bottle of his favorite oorgktairca

he brea hisemed to have been touched. the oorgkha gone missing.


Gurkha roled Sharukh is shocked to his oorgkka missing and then he remembe oorgkt his koiba friend Koeb was to visit him. Knowinh is shwell that his naughty friend koeb is che reeembers ly devouring the Oond Koebithout even shedding two tears, he movest hisiously w frihis limping leg. But what he sees astounds him .It is not hisen send Koeb, but a smiling Simple ladysly witred with Oorgkka looking at him deeply as if she is questioning him 'ettu sharukh"/


Heavy rains lashes the city,pudumaiokinves into the cross road in his black fiat, m 'ettu LK and says," do not worry LK! get in the car... i gai dyives inft ". LK gets in the car and car speeds fast LK andharuk says, " ettu LK!"


LK seeing Pudumai in the driving seat just shrieks 'Pudumai, Enna Kodumai ithu? Sharukh is my friend and I was just playing games with him and you thought he is terrorising me and asked me to get into the car. Without knowing it is you, I got into the car only reason being you were in your police outfit. Nice that you did not get into any 'fake encounter' and killed Sharukh"


then... pudumai says "it is encounter with sharuk..let him be alone, and let us have a good dinner at the finest five star hotel". now car raaches five star hotel. LK forgot sharuk and happily joins dinner with pudumai. there is a shenoy sad music and camera turns to tea stall: there sharuk eats bun and drinks tea!


now the lady seeing sharukh eating bun and drinking tea in a five star hotel starts thinking like Partheeban when he is Vadivelu. She most charmingly tells Pudumai, 'See Pudumai, my friend Sharukh is rich and why not make him pay for our dinner too. Let us eat what all we want and then make him pay" Police agrees and the lady goes to Sharukh and tells him her idea and tells him that once the dinner is finished both of them should vanish as if going to rest room ( Indian toilet) and Pudumai being 'Kadamai thavaratha Policekarar' will take care of the bill. Sharukh agrees immediately and comes to the table of Policekar and salutes him in sharukh 'ishtyle' and Polickaar is impressed and offers him a seat. Then Sharukh without blinking his eyes tells the Policekaar . "Sir, I appreciate your saving the damsel in distress and for this would you allow me to buy you a dinner' and now they all are into eating into stomachfull. Let us see what our Vadivel is going to do,


Vadivel came, sat with eating party. But his eyes were bloodshot. It was full moon alright, suddenly,(no) as usual, the power failed. But it was a candle light dinner so each of the eating party could see the others face. Face alone.


Then in the candle light dinner vadivelu cannot see properly and moreover he is little over the moon with all the spirits consumed earlier .

Now the serious actor he is ,he reaches for the food and accidentally picks up candle and eats it.

He now waxes eloquent telling this is the hottest & smoothest food he has enjoyed, all the while there is smoke emanating from his mouth.

NOw parthiban says idhudhan steaming foodu da vennai.

But vadi looks a little like a buttered toast and stupidly smiles at parthiban ..............


now the story takes a twise, our Policekaar acting like a 'vedi vacha vadivelu' infact is really acting like a fool. In fact, the power cut was arranged by him in connivance with the hotel management. Infact, taking the lady in the car and going to the five star hotel etc was also preplanned by him to investigate on a group of big 'dada' operating on the outskirts of chennai. Infact, the Gurkha himself was one of the 'chota' of the big dada (see otherwise how a gurkha can take bun and tea in five star hotel?) The candle had a secret camera and was taking video's of the Gurkha and other people, But when the lady knowingly or unknowingly brought Gurkha to the table, Policekaar signed to the hotel managment of put off the lights and ate the candle (a wafer bicuit candle) after carefully holding the camera under his tongue. Policekaar na summava?


(PS: please copy and paste the whole story so that any interested !!! reader can atleast try to understand this mind blogging presentation. I am sure after he/she reads the story, the member going to scratch his/her head telling 'thalaiyum puriyale, vaalum puriyale' (unable to understand head or tail) )


The lady had to go to the powder room, because the last line in script started so.

The police came to book but saw only faces. Suddenly the room became bright, because the police had a bright idea. He opened his netbook. Was trying hard to find a anonymous wireless connection to remote into his desktop at the office. He was about to emote ( :-( ), because he could not get a connection or could see the keyboard clearly.

The room became brighter, yes another bright idea, he asked vadivel for his Blackberry. Opened it to do a text message. The blackberry screen became bright white, like as though it was cleaned with Super RIN.

Using that, he remoted into his desktop. But it took a long time to get the correct userid and password. All excitement and tension made him forget the correct userid and password out of 15 pairs he uses to hack into many computers(of course the terrorists')

Once he was in, the room's brightness came down a little bit, because he switched off one of the bright ideas having completed it successfully. he also remembered the carbon footprints. he made a note of the word foot prints . But with the other bright idea went to look at his FaceBook friends. Remember ( he saw faces and he wanted to book) that was the key.

Logging into his facebook, he went to load the app for analyzing footprints that he had written. He had the app loaded. But how to get the gurkha's foot print?

The room became bright again. Of course another idea. He dropped the panneer tikka masala bowl on the floor near the gurkha. Not on gurkha but near him.

The gurkha trying to step aside, placed his shoe on the panneer tikka masala sauce. The policekaar then used the napkin to get the footprint from the floor, of the gurkha pretending to wipe the shoes.

He then silently used yhe blackberry's built in camera to capture the print. He messaged that to his gmail from blackberry. He then logged into his gmail which now he saw was not beta anymore and loaded the picture into his facebook app.

But alas....


Private Reply to Ganesh Ram (new win)

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