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For me, I've always been one to address a situation, good, bad or indifferent. Otherwise I walk around cranky or resentfull for no reason and start telling myself stories about what the other person may feel, think or do. Which 99% of the time, I have no clue because I haven't asked or made an assumption. I learned that lesson very early on in life. Moreso over the past couple of years.
The opportunities I feel that people miss by not speaking up is to get closer to others as well as have an open mind so that we can learn from one another. I think any topic that requires a conversation, no matter how small, should be addressed, resolved etc., so that people can move on. Little things can turn into big things later on, as it did here with the dress/cigar situation. Course there are certain communication skills required and it takes stepping back from a situation for a minute, or even a day, to address from time to time but that's ok too.
Make no mistake! Good communication skills are something that does not happen over night. I recently bought a great book called "Crucial Conversations" and it takes practice to keep to the guidelines that they suggest using within a conversation that may make others feel unsafe to express themselves. I have to go back and read it over and over again to make sure that I keep these methods in mind. Sometimes I find I have to go back because I've made a mistake as well .. which is good, because I don't just want to be heard or be right, I want everyone to feel heard and come to a resolution.
As for this particular topic and strong emotions? Well, I've addressed this in another post that I sent here this morning ... Again, a good reminder to start from the beginning and then move forward and be more clear. I can't start from the middle and expect good results. Clarification and understanding one another is highly important. I for one am glad I had this reminder today :)
> Eric Sohn wrote:
> Wow, we had some strong reactions to Steve's cigar and dress story. I'm actually curious as to where those reactions came from.
>Do you shy away from expressing negative emotions, even if that's what you feel? How does that affect you? How does it affect the people you're not levelling with? What opportunities are they missing?
>Do you do more of a disservice to others by not speaking up?
>Coach Eric Private Reply to Sue T. (new win) |
