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Bigger. Better. Faster. Fewer Ulcers.
245 hits
| Mar 26, 2004 6:49 pm |
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re: Conflict, flames and all that stuff |
Steve Hardman
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There is never anything wrong with a little conflict Eric, in business, at home, or elsewhere as long as both parties play by reasonable rules and remain reasonable with each other and the purpose to the conflict isn't just conflict:
* No intentional misquoting - It is only used to temporarily gain the upper hand, it is intellectually dishonest, and others eventually see through it.
* Be honest. Don't say: you are concerned about someone when you are not; it's for the good of the company/customer when it is for your own good; it's not about the money when it is. Put your real problem on the table or the conflict is an effort in futility.
* When involved in a dispute, name-calling is only used to enflame them. Even if you are thinking this guy is like Stalin and later make reference to his tactics as Stalinistic, don't call him Stalin to his face.
* No claiming victory because you claim morally superiority over someone else. Again, intellectually dishonest, requires the circular logic of 'being right because I'm morally superior and being morally superior because I'm right'. And boy does that one open you up to some personal scrutiny.
* Avoidance of threats and retaliation
* If you have something to say, say it to the person. Don't say it to someone else so they can overhear it and/or see it. The later shows immaturity.
* The purpose should be towards resolution. If you cannot make resolution then it is time to move on and/or agree to disagree. Sometimes this takes awhile but in the end, it's often better to get to the resolution than to cut it off and let it fester.
* When the conflict has become personal, both parties should make peace when the conflict ceases.
I have seen so many companies that should make similar conflict rules and it wouldn't hurt a few marriages either.
> Eric Sohn wrote:
When is conflict not a "bad" thing?
Private Reply to Steve Hardman (new win) |
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