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Apr 13, 2004 1:16 pm Steve & Ken: Steve Goals: Time for a change
Sue

OYE! Did I spell that right? :) Body language, my favorite. Has anyone ever heard, actions speak louder than words? The things people can say without saying a word are tremendous.

A look, a glance, a fidget, a sigh ... what does it all mean? And how can we, as people learn to address these things in a manner that respectfully conveys how we feel and find out how the other person feels at the same time? It can be done. I tend to sigh when I'm backing off of an emotional high to give myself space to see what's really going on. Some would interpret this to mean I am exasperated and then respond in kind. The reality is that I'm just taking a step back from the situation and giving myself breathing room. Yet the sigh, can cause some reactions from people one wasn't expecting.

Perhaps it is as simple as letting go of our own expectations. On example that comes to mind would be, "I think this is a good idea" so we expect others to be just as excited as we are ... which :) isn't the truth is it. It doesn't mean another point of view is bad, it simply means, they disagree or that it isn't for them. It's not personal ... until it is. When it "is" then comes the clarification process and understanding one anther. In this process this means that we may have to take a back seat and invite the other persons perspective in "first" so they can feel heard, then after acknowledging that, Then we get our turn. It can be a difficult transition, however the results? Are amazing. :)

To me? Everyone is a swan. :)

> Rebecca & Ken Aspinwall wrote: > Hi Steve, > >I hear that! > >It's funny. I don't know who came up with this body language business and it can't be scientific for the other day I was with a good person and folded my arms across my chest for the purpose of relaxing. I did decide not to take the chance of being misunderstood and quickly dropped my arms to my side. > >Not many people around here fold their arms across their chest anymore. Maybe that means our culture is relaxed. > >Unfortunately, the RYZE space does poorly about that letter sequence. That's one good thing about the yahoogroups, but some people don't like them too much. > >Your duck and swan idea is well understood. Communication has always been a complicated thing because too many individuals want their own way. They do not understand flexibility and being easy to get along with. > >In my case, everybody knows I am a duck and mostly because I don't try to act like a swan. lol > >People want peace and safety. Crooked people use this desire for peace and safety to create fear of loss and insecurity. They do this to try to make people buy the solution from them. > >I'm a terrible salesperson. When somebody tells me something, I assume they are telling me the truth. If they are not telling the truth, I walk away with the wrong impression. I expect people to ask for my help and tell me what they need. I don't have time to play guessing games. > >Ken > > >> steve chi wrote: >> Hi, so where are the other letters that precede and relate to this? I think the subject gets even more interesting when the letters can be viewed in sequence. Especially to the new reader. >> One of the ironys in the human development/human potential business is that 'we" all get trained to perceive a behavior as indicative of a particular motivation. Arms folded across the chest one of defensiveness and closedness. >>I recall being repeatedly trained as a child to stop putting my hands in my pockets. And of course boys had better pants pockets than girls. So rather than leave arms dangling haphazardly, one may very well cross them. And be perceived as and treated as someone on the defensive. >> One of the parts I love best about humans, people, is that if it walks like a duck, and squawks like a duck, it still might be a swan. >>

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