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Apr 15, 2004 3:37 am Guys? Rewording example (tell me if it helps)
Sue T.

So the idea of all of this would be to gain clarification and undue misconceptions due to miscommunications between people. Is that what you two are saying here?

Suzie T.

> steve chi wrote: >

Hi Eric. This all sounds like the game "Let's you and him fight," from Games People Play. Maybe by Eric Berne? When the game is used to purposely bring up buried "stuff" it can be highly useful. Buried "stuff" can be personal animosity, ehthical and philosophical disagreement, and a wide variety of things that causes "off agenda" behavior; behavior including sabatage as a major destructive issue.P>

Clearing the air can be a greatly productive activity, especially when managed by a skilled facilitator who keeps the fighting within safe boundries, and continually presses for the common ground, the mutal interests, the point of aggreement which becomes the point of power for the adversaries. When people see that they will gain more through collaboration; that important personal goals can be achieved through cooperation; they are inclined to cooperate.

It may however take a very strong facilitator to get them to see that.


Steve Chichester

> > > > > >> Eric Sohn wrote: >>

The original post:


Hey, Steve -


Part of where I was coming from came from a book called 9 1/2 Weird Ideas That Work (I'm too lazy today to put in the link to my bookstore - maybe I'll edit later). One of the "weird" ideas is that, to get creative ideas, take people and make them fight. Apparently, the thinking on your feet required to attack and/or defend stirs up the juices - and takes you past pat responses.


I suspect as we read the exchanges here - which really weren't that bad, actually - we connected viscerally and responded on instinct. As the viewpoints went back and forth, our worldviews had to consider and perhaps incorporate what was being written.


So, did we learn? Personally, I did - letting things run on (as long as no one comes to blows) is not the end of the world. Did we learn something about ourselves - or others? I think so.


So, here's a question for you (all of you):


Does this exchange remind you of something that's happened to you in your business? How did you handle it? Did you "get" ulcers more, "give" ulcers more - or was it pretty even-handed? Do you have a consistent pattern to how you deal with conflict in your business? How might that be affecting your business results? What might you do differently?


Coach Eric


P.S. My wife tells me I'm nuts, that she always avoids conflict. I assure you, that's no news to me! :`)

Private Reply to Sue T. (new win)

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