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Apr 16, 2004 8:11 pm Ken : Sue - What if .. in the simplest of terms, they just wanted to be liked?
Sue
Hey Ken, read at the @@@ signs :)

> Rebecca & Ken Aspinwall wrote:
> Sue,
>
>I agree. We all want to be liked. Isn't it funny that the two of us have enough similarities to make being together fairly easy and yet, there are enough differences that we have to work through them.

@@ I think everyone wants to be liked, and everyone has different perceptions on how they approach a given situation. I believe the toughest thing to do, is to be the listener, ask more questions, be curious as to what the other party may mean before responding to an emotion. It takes practice but it can be done. Usually a person isn't so upset at the statement but rather the statement triggered a nerve from something from the past. Perhaps forgotten about. If you start from the heart ... and then express yourself, as well as you have in this post? You'll be golden ... :)

>It is very delightful to know you. If we were in the same locale, I feel certain that we would have a cuppa coffee from time to time. Ours would mostly be a fun type of relationship where we enjoy and celebrate one another.

@@ Well this could be a possibility, providing your wife found it to be acceptable :) ...That's just one of my golden rules. Oh and can it be Dunkin Donuts coffee ??? THANX! Course if you prefer starbucks we can always get both. :)
>
>Anyway, we all want to be liked. In my life, I have found it to be way too awkward to be around some people. If constant judgment and criticism flows out of their mouth, I am ready to get outta Dodge.
>
>LOL. Actually, I am ready to dodge.
>
>I think I do fairly well at being an easy person to be around. However, as you pointed out, we all have our boundaries and limitations. If two people have too many clashes because of a high degree of differences, we then face maturity issues.

@@ I'm curious, is this true? or does it come simply from a lack of understanding of the other persons view point. What would happen if the people involved were to stop, take a step back and find out what the core issue is? Then there can be a lack of communication as well. OR sometimes, yes lack of experience can be a contributing factor.
>
>RYZE has been a classic experience for me in that respect. I can tell that there are many immature people around these networks because they get so bent out of shape over real little stuff.
>
>A guy refers to this as tripping over pebbles. As we grow older and mature, we begin to appreciate people and things much better. We learn to stop harping on differences and start looking for the affinity.
>
>Sue, I am very glad that we have the capacity to talk to one another from heart to heart, although we have some minor differences. Over the long haul, our friendship may probably grow because we will not permit barriers [or imagined barriers -- minor differences] to come between us.

@@ The good news is that we are both striving for understanding one anothers views. As for barriers? They are made to be broken. One brick at a time.
>
>I am a man and you are a woman. It's that Mars-Venus thing that cannot be allowed to get in the way of a higher and more professional relationship. The women that I relate the best with understand this and see the possibilities should not be limited by baggage type stuff.

@@ Ken, everyone (men and women) has "baggage" things they've overcome or been through. Some learn from it and move forward, others may wallow, yet others may wallow for a while and then say HEY! I want better in my life. In time, given the chance there really isn't truly a single person who can't grow, learn and enjoy life as it's meant to be. The simple bottom line is? They have to be ready or something has to click in their mind.
>
>You mentioned something about my frustration might be coming through. If you actually sense this, I wish that we could talk about it right here. Maybe it will be OK for us to mutually coach on things like this together.

@@@ Yes, it did appear that you were quite frustrated in a few posts. It wasn't so much what you said, but how it was said, and how it could be viewed by others. S'not to say that the opinions you have/had were not understandable. What I'm saying is the tone of the post ... could be perceived as ... a venting thing, where you were letting off steam etc., thus it comes across as frustrated or perhaps for lack of better words. You've done quite well cleanly conveying what you wanted to say. :) This was excellent! :) I'm no expert .. I only know what I see and feel. However, this was a pleasure to read.
>
>I'm a simple guy. I like to be clear.
>
>Ken
>

Sue T.

Private Reply to Sue (new win)





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