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Apr 18, 2004 3:04 pm Ken: Expectations
Sue T.

Hey Ken :) Now we're talkin'what you have written here is very clear, I understand everything you are saying. I have a top 10 list over on my page, if you'd like to see it... :) The first one, says that we have no control over anyone else other than ourselves.

I'm wondering if perhaps your interpretation of maturity is being confused with a lack of knowledge.

I'm thinking as well, do you feel people are really that closed minded or perhaps they haven't learned how to communicate themselves clearly?

I believe people learn new things when they are ready. It and it isn't for me to say when that will be, when they are, they'll just get it. :) In the meantime, I worry about myself ... how I come across and how I can say things to others or ask for clarification when I misunderstand things so that I don't add to the problem. Sometimes I fall from grace. For me I think when we get excited about something I think we'd like to share that with others and it may come out wrong, like we are preaching or something. Which is really not totally the case, however it can come across that way. What if we were to change the way we, ourselves, approached this?

Change starts right here, with me. If I am unwilling to examine my own motives then, who am I? I'm still me but I won't be able to express myself in a manner that helps others to feel safe in expressing their own views. When individuals reach a mutual purpose, great things can happen even if they are in disagreement. The mutual purpose in this particular arena would be to understand one anothers point of view.

Well I havfta tell ya, I have no baggage to attach to the conversation with regard to God and religion. I believe there's a god, and that I can talk to him anywhere I want, not just in a church. We can let go of the old life ...and start fresh anytime we like. We all have that option. For me? I wouldn't trade my past life for my life today, it has made me who I am :) and I like me.

People have to be ready. It's just that simple. It's not that they are closed minded or immature, although I'm sure that could come up. I just think ... that, people are people and well ... we're all unique individuals ... even some one who may "seem" to have so much baggage has things we can learn. So whose to say? Certainly not me ... I still have things I want to learn and people I want to meet.

I have to run! My roller blades are callin me and it's a nice day out! If I've missed anything, my apology in advance.

Sue T. > Rebecca & Ken Aspinwall wrote: >

> >

> >Sue, >

>Yo! I totally agree with -- Perhaps it is as simple as letting go of our own expectations. Yes! Yes! Yes! >

>My first thought -- I feel what you feel -- what does it all mean? That's exactly why I said the body language thing cannot be scientific. In other words, I don't think it can be a regimental issue because for each individual there are too many variables and nuances. Where you have such variables and nuances, regimen cannot evolve. This absolute reality demands that we let go of our own expectations and allow the moment to stand on its own terms. >

>There you go! What does it mean? Body language can only tell you that a reaction is taking place. Body language can serve as an alert, but it will never tell you the meaning. That is why we have to take it to the next level and seek clarification. >

>Yes, I do believe that when a person sighs, it can mean something to that person. You are absolutely right about going forward with clarification because I/we cannot take the risk of figuring out what something means when the matter obviously lacks clarity and to me, body language always lacks clarity. If I were to venture to assign a meaning too it, I would have judgment and we already know that judgment can destroy potential good in a new relationship. >

>I like the English language. I like self-assured people. Since I don't set out to intimidate or harm anyone, I expect them to feel at ease in my presence. Even if I fold my arms, do not think that I am being defensive. Heck! If I am standing there listening and engaging in genuine communication, this is the thing to see because it is a much weightier thing than my arms being folded. See! When I fold my arms, it is a relaxed posture for me. >

>On that note, I do believe that a lot of people must have had terrible relationships in their past. I can surely understand their hesitance, but they need to find some mature company where they can learn confidence. >

>For me? I never gave up on what God intended for the church. The Christian Church was intended to be a nurturing community. It's leaders were supposed to be on the Grace Path. All were to share in joy, peace and righteousness. There was a certain boldness attached to the idea of accepting one another on the same terms that we had all sinned and come short of God's glory, but we had also accepted redemption in Christ. Case closed on the old life. Step into the new creation. All things have become new. The new creation was a thing of great joy and a gift that was provided at a great cost to God. >

>While we are talking about this, I know that many churches have been dismal failures in conveying the mystery of Christ. That leaves individuals like me to roam about the earth to proclaim the Good News -- You can be all you can be in the power of Christ. >

>Please! Don't attach any personal baggage to what I say. I am not talking about religion in the twisted form that so many are accustomed to. I am talking about the true Life! It is the Abundant Life! >


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