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| Mar 22, 2006 5:03 am |
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re: re: Jokes , Jokes and More Jokes |
| arpita gupta
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Sometimes when I reflect back on all the wine I drink
> >>I feel shamed. Then I look into the glass and think
> >>about the workers in the vineyards and all of their hopes
> >>and dreams If I didn't drink this wine, they might be out
> >>of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say
> >>to myself, "It is better that I drink this wine and let their
> >>dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."
> >>~ Jack Handy
> >>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >>
> >>"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they
> >>wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're
> >>going to feel all day. "
> >>~Frank Sinatra
> >>WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are
> >>tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
> >>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >>"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
> >>~ Henny Youngman
> >>WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are
> >>laughing WITH you.
> >>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >>"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?
> >>I think not."
> >>~ Stephen Wright
> >>WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
> >>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >>"When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk,
> >>we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin.
> >>When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all
> >>get drunk and go to heaven!"
> >>~ Brian O'Rourke
> >>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >>"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants
> >>us to be happy."
> >>~ Benjamin Franklin
> >>WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a
> >>retard.
> >>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >>"Without question, the greatest invention in the
> >>history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the
> >>wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does
> >>not go nearly as well with pizza."
> >>~ Dave Barry
> >>WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends
> >>over
> >>and over again that you love them.
> >>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >>To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group. Salvation in a can!
> >>~ Dave Howell
> >>WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically
> >>converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.
> >>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >>And saving the best for last, as explained by Cliff Clavin,
> >>of Cheers. One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the
> >>Buffalo
> >>Theory to his buddy Norm.
> >>Here's how it went:
> >>
> >>
> >>"Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo
> >>can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when
> >>the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones
> >>at the back that are killed first This natural selection is
> >>good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of
the
> >>whole group keeps improving by the
> >>regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human
> >>brain can only operate as fast as the
> >>slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we
> >>know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and
weakest
> >>brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates
the
> >>weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient
machine.
> >>That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."Private Reply to arpita gupta (new win) |
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