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| Aug 15, 2006 11:00 am |
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re: re: re: re: re: re: re: Jokes |
Aditya Seth
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LOW FARE AIR TRAVEL - a new era of nightmares
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Attendant: Welcome aboard Ala Carte Air, sir. May I
see your ticket? Passenger: Sure.
Attendant: You're in seat 12B. That will be $5,please!
Passenger: What for?
Attendant: For telling you where to sit. Passenger:
But I already knew where to sit. Attendant:
Nevertheless, we are now charging a seat-locator fee
of $5. It's the airline's new policy. Passenger:
That's the craziest thing I ever heard. I won't pay
it.
Attendant: Sir, do you want a seat on this flight, or
not? Passenger: Yes, yes. All right, I'll pay. But the
airline is going to hear about this.
Attendant: Thank you. My goodness, your carry-on bag
looks heavy. Would you like me to stow it in the
overhead compartment for you? Passenger: That would be
swell, thanks.
Attendant: No problem (grunts). Up we go, and done!
That will be $10, please. Passenger: What?
Attendant: The airline now charges a $10 carry-on
assistance fee. Passenger: This is extortion. I won't
stand for it.
Attendant: Actually, you're right -- you can't stand.
You need to sit, and fasten your seat belt. We're
about to push back from the gate. But first I need
that $10. Passenger: No way.
Attendant: Sir, if you don't comply, I will be forced
to call the air marshal. And you really don't want me
to do that. Passenger: Why not? Is he going to shoot
me?
Attendant: No, but there's a $50 air-marshal hailing
fee. Passenger: Oh, all right, here -- take the $10. I
can't believe this.
Attendant: Thank you for your cooperation, sir. Is
there anything else I can do for you? Passenger: Yes.
It's stuffy in here, and my overhead fan doesn't seem
to work. Can you fix it?
Attendant: Your overhead fan is not broken, sir. Just
insert two quarters into the overhead coin slot for
the first five minutes. Passenger: The airline is
charging me for cabin air?
Attendant: Of course not, sir. Stagnant cabin air is
provided free of charge. It's the circulating air that
costs 50 cents. Passenger: I don't have any quarters.
Can you make change for a dollar?
Attendant: Certainly, sir! Here you go! Passenger: But
you've given me only three quarters for my dollar.
Attendant: Yes, there's a change-making fee of 25
cents Passenger: For cryin' out loud. All I have left
is a lousy quarter? Whatever will I do with it?
Attendant: Hang onto it. You'll need it later for the
lavatory. Private Reply to Aditya Seth (new win) |
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