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`in conversation' on wedding and divorceViews: 1034
Jul 05, 2010 3:34 am`in conversation' on wedding and divorce#

charu hasan
The `In Conversation’ with Psychiatrist Dr. Vijay Nagasamy by Deepa Onkar is in total, based on a forced and accepted premise such as the statue of Kannagi in Marina Beach is a necessary component for inculcating right sex education to women in general and wives in particular. Recently the cops prevented the marriage of several village girls under permissible legal age of marriage. The Supreme Court has expressed its own concept of the age of consent for sex to define rape of wife by the husband. There is express provision in Indian Penal Code that there can not be a complaint of rape of a wife by her own husband except when the wife is below the age of consent. In the Satellite exposure of the minor girls none of them spoke about the compulsion by the parents. Subject to correction I could see a little of disappointment in few of them that they have been prevented by authorities in their access to socially permitted sex.

I have been a defense counsel in at least 15 to twenty cases of rape in which 50 % of them were false complaints girls and boys indulging in sex, where the girl was forced to make a complaint and even depose. In one particular case I knew where a major girl who had lived for week as couple for a week was brought home and a complaint of rape was charge sheeted. I just asked the accused boy to sit opposite to the girl in the court veranda and keep shedding tears till the case was taken up.

When she got into the witness box, without any effort from me she broke down in the chief examination and said that she loved him and asked him to tie a thali, ran away with him and stayed in a city hotel for a week and lived as husband and wife. The public prosecutor complained that the defense counsel was guilty of professional misconduct in advising the accused to shed tears. In fact the Sub Judge asked me whether I had the courage to admit it in the witness box. I said that I need a written order from court to charge sheet me for any offence under any law.

The concept of marriage and chastity are the compulsions of the society that had made the laws on legal marriages and legitimacy of children. Now that I am a legal father of three children can any one of them ask the other to go through a DNA test and even if one is proved not compatible with the male parent’s DNA can that have any legal effect except to throw a cloud on the faithfulness of the mother.

Divorce is yet another alienation of love and affection as one that happens between parents and children, brothers and sisters or any other kind of close relationship.
There need not be such emotional response that one political party against an actress who came out with an opinion contrary to a violent minority that needed our apex court to provide a remedy. Neither marriages are made in heaven nor divorces in Hell.

Private Reply to charu hasan

Jul 05, 2010 1:55 pmre: `in conversation' on wedding and divorce#

padmanabhan ramasubban
" I just asked the accused boy to sit opposite to the girl in the court veranda and keep shedding tears till the case was taken up. "

Brilliant and peelingsay touch panni viteennga.

Casey gaylee chooteenga!

Dobakoor PP boosu aaitaar.

Private Reply to padmanabhan ramasubban

Jul 05, 2010 4:30 pmre: `in conversation' on wedding and divorce#

Vijaylakshmi Vardan


Lovely comment. I completely agree with you.

Vijaylakshmi

Private Reply to Vijaylakshmi Vardan

Jul 06, 2010 7:44 pmre: re: `in conversation' on wedding and divorce#

padmanabhan ramasubban
Thanksu VV akka!(even if you are much younger to me!)

Private Reply to padmanabhan ramasubban

Jul 07, 2010 6:27 amre: re: re: `in conversation' on wedding and divorce#

Lavanya Karalkar
intha kusumbu thaan vendankarathu, paddu anna

ella pengalaiyume (amma, wife, magal, periya akka vai thavira) thangaigalaga paavippathe tamizh panbu. pengalai magizchiyaga vaithuk kondal naattukkum veettukkum nallathu and eppo oru thamizhan pengalin vayathukku madippu koduthu avargalai endurm thangaigalaga paavikkirano andru than semmozhi valarum, Nidhi valarum..

Soeb Fatehi ..translation is a bit lenghthy and hence the gyst of the story is Paddu called vijayalajshmi vardhan as big sister and hence I asked him to call her small sister based on her mental requirement ..oooooopppps.. meaning all ladies including VV (double Victory) mentally requires to be considered young.

Private Reply to Lavanya Karalkar

Jul 07, 2010 6:53 amre: re: re: re: `in conversation' on wedding and divorce#

SOEB FATEHI
you are always very thoughtful LK(g) . . . and very sweet too . . .

Private Reply to SOEB FATEHI

Jul 07, 2010 8:14 amre: re: re: re: re: `in conversation' on wedding and divorce#

Lavanya Karalkar
shukriya

Private Reply to Lavanya Karalkar

Jul 07, 2010 8:20 amre: re: re: re: re: re: `in conversation' on wedding and divorce#

SOEB FATEHI
make two passes and get only one thank . . .

Private Reply to SOEB FATEHI

Jul 07, 2010 9:42 amre: re: `in conversation' on wedding and divorce#

Vijaylakshmi Vardan

I was replying to Charu Anna's post.

Private Reply to Vijaylakshmi Vardan

Jul 07, 2010 11:23 amre: re: re: `in conversation' on wedding and divorce#

Ganesh Ram
First of all, let me get this clarified from the esteem folks in this network.

For many of us, marriage was never a legal one.

How many old folks out there have registered their marriage with the govt?

If not so then,

why go to a court or pay a lawyer to annul a marriage if in the first place one did not register at all?

and,

how legal it is for a lawyer to take up a case without a pressing legal proof of marriage which the couple, or either of the two in that coupling foulmouth the other, and ask for a separation?

In a land (historically speaking) where ,

a lady burnt a whole city because her "doggy" husband was hanged by a small error committed by a king,

a land where that husband's so called daughter out of wedlock gave a rich literature that to this day has been (some of us don't even know what that literature contribution is/was) talked about,

Where is the justice for the men who suffer under women's oppression?

My point is, no divorce can be enacted by law to a couple if their marriage is/was not registered by law. Also every couple that register the marriage should sign an annulling agreement where a registrar or a recognized public servant should make the couple in question clearly understand what annuls their marriage and what are the consequences.

It should be illegal\criminal for any lawyer/ judge/ public official to intervene and separate a couple if the marriage itself is not registered. Humane intervention can be done only by a policekAr. A lawyer should never advise/suggest/ promote the party in question to apply for an FIR(if that is the legal document necessary for a divorce proceeding) without ascertaining the fact that the marriage is registered with a proper govt in the residing country.

Private Reply to Ganesh Ram

Jul 07, 2010 12:13 pmre: re: re: re: `in conversation' on wedding and divorce#

Lavanya Karalkar
First let us analyse the whole issue with reference to VV (Double victory)

As usual Charu posted his views on this board and as usual Paddu read the same and as usual appreciated the same in his usual eshtyle
and then VV read Charu's post and was impressed like everyone else (even Charu writes rubbish, it is appreciated by one and all due to his way or putting things --charu ..ice vechachu) and posted here appreciation as

"Lovely Comments"

which was accepted by Paddu as appreciation for his comments on Charu's post ..

(Shakespeare would have written one more 'Comedy of Errors' if he goes through this thread'

and as usual he thanks VV (Double Victory) in his eshtyle and pulling her legs also in a way that paddu only knows by calling her 'Akka'

Now LK(g) who is the eternal saviour of all new entrants, enters and gives her lecture to Paddu duly informing him that all ladies are to be addressd as 'Thangai' only.

Now after all this VV comes and broadcasts that those comments were meant for Charu and not for Paddu.. Ithu nyayama VV ,Idhu Dharmama VV?

Now coming to Ganesh Ram.

Please come out of the Swarga Bhoomi of USA and get through the Indian law which clearly accepts the marriage of Hindus when Sapthapathi is performed and ofcourse the law needs a proof that the marriage was solemnised by way of a photo, priest's certificate etc etc. For other religions there are other formalities and never Indian law requires a registration certificate because till recently it was not mandatory to register the marriages. Only recently some state governments like West bengal and Tamil nadu are making it mandatory to register the marriages.



Private Reply to Lavanya Karalkar

Jul 07, 2010 3:49 pmre: re: re: re: re: `in conversation' on wedding and divorce#

charu hasan
The issue is which is made in heaven and which is made in hell. Marriage is hell after it is made in heaven. How is divorce after if it is made in court? is it heaven?

Private Reply to charu hasan

Jul 07, 2010 5:14 pmre: re: re: re: re: re: `in conversation' on wedding and divorce#

Lavanya Karalkar
Charu anna ..this is not fair --- not fair at all

--this too after more than 50 years of blissful married life with the most wonderful lady in the world ..

Private Reply to Lavanya Karalkar

Jul 08, 2010 3:34 amre: re: re: re: re: re: re: `in conversation' on wedding and divorce#

charu hasan
Dear LKji,

It is time you learnt how lawyers make living out people who quarrel over issues. In the instant case mentioned where I asked the accused to shed tears and the Sub Judge asked me whether I had the courage to get into the box and admit that I instructed the client to do what he did, remember that I asked Hon. Judge to pass a written order to get me into the box.

Point no 1.. is that the judge did not know that if he orally asks me to get into the box and I refuse it is contempt of court and he can sentence me straight away. I can only appeal against his conviction.

Point No 2. He puts me into the box and asks me what I instructed my client I would say that it is privileged communication between client and his lawyer and cannot be admitted in evidence and the Evidence Act.

Some one can show a way out for the judge to put me on the dock and punish me!

Another point raised by LKji is that Sapthapathi is legal marriage and does not necessarily involve a mangalsutram. Now read the provision that punishes bigamy and polygamy and come back a Brahmin do Sapthapathi with dozen girls at one time for there was no subsisting marriage at the time. Madras has 3% Brahmins and 30% Brahmin lawyers that proves the point. Read the related legislation and come to a decision

Private Reply to charu hasan

Jul 08, 2010 3:58 amre: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: `in conversation' on wedding and divorcethen what #

Muhammadh Iqbal Abdul Hameed
Now let's ask a question,what do we call people who call the second plus wives as wives without having done the sapthapathi? to get out of the clutches of the law .

Private Reply to Muhammadh Iqbal Abdul Hameed

Jul 08, 2010 10:34 amre: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: `in conversation' on wedding and divorcethen what #

Ganesh Ram
Lk(g), we are the only two to show our ignorance in this network. And in that you shine better ( :) )

First of all other than the asian countries and some African nations, the so called western world including europe had legalized marriage. The church, for sure, and the dargas, some one can correct if I am wrong, had a full records of who married whom.

In the Swarga bhoomi, the USA, it is the same. It , the swarga bhoomi, in some of its states went one step further to legalize all kinds of humane marriages. Legality issues at several levels made new laws for marriage to be announced approved and welcomed by many of us over here.

Also the celebrity marriages here starts with all annulment clauses and the money / property that have to be bartered between the parties.

Andavan, Andi iruvagaiyArukkum idhu podhu nyAyam

We go further to publicly, in the media, publish all kinds of details about who in the marriage cheated, how, when ,why where and which of the two in that gained or lost. If need be the media takes it one step further to justify the wrong doer as the victim and ends every annual season with "all iisss velll". A way of cleansing the society by humiliation.


It is rather funny that the man doing the sapthabadhi with the woman has to own upto being the father of the first child born to that woman at the seemandham(Tamil Hindu practice). He does not, with the other children borne by her. But the first child, he has to.

Private Reply to Ganesh Ram

Jul 08, 2010 11:03 amre: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: `in conversation' on wedding and divorcethen what #

Lavanya Karalkar
Ganesh Ram:

I loved the first line of your post:

"Lk(g), we are the only two to show our ignorance in this network. And in that you shine better ( :) )"

All said and done , the topic was of marriages and divorces with relevance to India only as Charu the Anna wanted not to propagate wedding or divorce which he pretends to be chain which is holding him tight but what he wanted to bring to the attention of our eminent CNK'ers from Swarga Bhoomi too that he was capable of even outwitting the stupid sitting judge. (stupid he has admitted in his further post) so we are not supposed to look into swargabhoomi and other naraga marriages but only at Indian marriages na?

Private Reply to Lavanya Karalkar

Jul 08, 2010 1:30 pm re: `in conversation' on wedding and divorcethen what #

Pudumai Balakrishnan Balakrishnan
lk!
have you returned from hyderabad?

Private Reply to Pudumai Balakrishnan Balakrishnan

Jul 08, 2010 2:08 pmre: re: `in conversation' on wedding and divorcethen what #

SOEB FATEHI
do you want to invite her for coffee?

Private Reply to SOEB FATEHI

Jul 08, 2010 2:56 pmre: re: re: re: re: `in conversation' on wedding and divorce#

Vijaylakshmi Vardan
To,

LKji & Charu Hasan & Paddu,

Idhu dharmam and Idhu whatever.

Marriages are made in so-called heaven and destroyed in earth (hell & heaven).

VV

Private Reply to Vijaylakshmi Vardan

Jul 08, 2010 3:06 pmre: re: re: re: re: `in conversation' on wedding and divorce#

Vijaylakshmi Vardan


Dear LKji, Paddu, Charu annna, PBB & the rest,

Marriage is a personal thing between two individuals.

Nobody can say, what goes on between two ppl in a maariage. So all predictions and analysis are not wholly true about any marriage. Mostly the failure of a marriage is because of both the parties.

In the old times, ppl married and stayed together for 50 years or more because women were not economically independent and nor did they have the mind-set to come out of a marriage. Also, they married very young, so at that age, two ppl can get used to eath other.

But nowadays, ppl marry late, women are eco. inde., so lots of ego clashes between partners.

We also expect too much from marriage. Till now, all men expect their wives to be typically WIFE and also earn (go out to work).

Men have not changed all that much. Laws were convenient to them in all religions, and they put that factor into use. Women have gone ahead in all fields. So there is a lot of heart-burn among the so-called modern men.

Quite LONG!

bye! for now while you digest all this.

VV

Private Reply to Vijaylakshmi Vardan

Jul 08, 2010 4:34 pmre: re: re: re: re: re: `in conversation' on wedding and divorce#

Ganesh Ram
VV , I always say this to people who blame others

oh before that, welcome to CNK. I wish you had walked in 5 years ago into this network to see some of the excellent posts on society and social ethics.

All I can say is,

When you point your index finger at others. 3 of your other fingers point at you.

So for any action/task/ process/ procedure one sees as a problem nearly 75% is contributed by the same person.

Private Reply to Ganesh Ram

Jul 08, 2010 4:37 pmre: re: re: re: re: re: `in conversation' on wedding and divorce#

Lavanya Karalkar
VV,

Still sticking to the subject and giving relevant posts..

Still way to go for her to become a true CNK'er. (like Iyer/Iyengar/Karalkar there is a clan belonging to CNK who are CNK'ers and have their unique way to poking not only their noses but also their hands/legs in everybody's affairs and pretend they never interfere)

I feel today's man and woman whether they are married or otherwise knows how to express their feelings openly and sometimes or let us say positively most of the times it works very well and sometimes it works otherwise. Whatever it it, if there is love between them even the ego is killed by love.

Working couples sometimes make a very good family rendering quality time for each other and for the children too.

LK(g) finally puts it in a nutshelll..heaven and hell you create and live inside ..so decide what to create ..

Pudumai ..me back in Egmore and the station master is happy to see me because I share my Hindu with him. Hindu ofcourse is donated by Higginbothams manager who has already been promised a seat in heaven (real heaven ie above our head) after his death by LK(g)

Private Reply to Lavanya Karalkar

Jul 08, 2010 4:47 pmre: re: re: re: re: re: re: `in conversation' on wedding and divorce#

SOEB FATEHI
in India, is there any law against a woman of marriageable age marrying a man of less than marriageable age?

do not confuse marriageable with manageable please . . .

Private Reply to SOEB FATEHI

Jul 08, 2010 5:52 pmre: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: `in conversation' on wedding and divorce#

Lavanya Karalkar
I nominate charu to give a fitting reply to this unmanageable query.

Private Reply to Lavanya Karalkar

Jul 09, 2010 3:05 amre: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: `in conversation' on wedding and divorce#

SOEB FATEHI
in all kindness, to yourself and your fans you could have called the query avoidable instead of unmanageable . . . . LK(g) as CEO of pathway manages even the unmanageable after all . . . .

Private Reply to SOEB FATEHI

Jul 09, 2010 8:08 amre: re: re: re: re: re: re: `in conversation' on wedding and divorce#

Vijaylakshmi Vardan


Thanks for the welcome. Yes I missed all the action in this network.

But I hope to be part of the whole rigmarole from now onwards.

Private Reply to Vijaylakshmi Vardan

Jul 09, 2010 9:01 amre: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: `in conversation' on wedding and divorce#

Lavanya Karalkar
Soeb Fatehi ..When CEO of Pathway Inc. nominates someone for an unmanageable assignment, it need not necessarily be taken as that 'unmanageable' phrase indicates the manageability or capability of CEO of Pathway Inc. It is just to prove the manageability of capability of the Chosen Hero Charu to the CNK public. CEO always delegates na?

VV that is the way any new entrant to CNK always exclaims and shouts and dances from the dais. But then promises are never meant to be kept na?

Private Reply to Lavanya Karalkar

Jul 09, 2010 12:18 pmre: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: `in conversation' on wedding and divorce#

SOEB FATEHI
at the time of that final journey you have to submit the embarkation card to pathway inc listing all promises kept and unkept . . . . that is then attached to the disembarkation card at the final destination . . .

delegates and nominates are different words with different meanings . . . . though unpad you must still know which one your really meant . . . or did you actually mean deputes?

Private Reply to SOEB FATEHI

Jul 09, 2010 12:22 pmre: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: `in conversation' on wedding and divorce#

Lavanya Karalkar
Soeb Fatehi ..aap kab meri dushmani karne lage?

Private Reply to Lavanya Karalkar

Jul 09, 2010 4:35 pmre: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: `in conversation' on wedding and divorce#

charu hasan
Where is Murali Bashyam ? He blames me for going off at tangent

Private Reply to charu hasan

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