|Poor old Grandpa has passed away, cut off in his prime,|
He never had a day off drink - gone before his time,
We found him in the outhouse, collapsed there on the seat,
A startled look upon his face, his overall's around his feet,
The doctor said his heart was good - fit as any trout,
The Sheriff, he had his say, 'foul play' was not ruled out.
There were theories at the inquest of snakebite without trace,
Of copperheads quietly creeping and death from outer space,
No-one had a clue at all - the coroner was in some doubt,
When Dad was called to have his say as to how it came about,
'I reckon I can clear it up,' said Dad with trembling breath,
'You see it's quite a story - but it could explain his death.'
'This here exploration crew had been looking at our soil,
And they reckoned that our farm was just the place for oil,
So they came and put a bore down and said they'd make some trials,
They drilled a hole as deep as hell, they said about three miles.
Well, they never found a trace of oil and off they went, post haste,
And I couldn't see a hole like that go to such a waste,
So I moved the outhouse over it - real smart move I thought,
I'd never have to dig again - I'd never be 'caught short'.
The day I moved the outhouse, it looked a proper sight,
But I didn't dream poor Grandpa would pass away that night,
Now I reckon what has happened - poor Grandpa didn't know,
The outhouse was re-located that night he had to go.
And you'll probably be wondering how poor Grandpa did his midnight dash--Well, he always used to hold his breath
Until he heard the splash!!
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