"What qualities of character have you strengthened? Are you more honest with others about how you feel? Have you learned to set boundaries with those people who drain your energy? Maybe you've improved your communication skills or become more sensitive to the needs of others?"
I believe that the best scenario is to develop an ability to adjust what you do and how you do it on an individual basis - depending on each person that you encounter - tailor made specifically to that individual and their specific needs -