As part of trying to get the word out about my product & new business, I have been sending email to high-end pet boutiques & magazines that I think would be good fits.

So far, I've had zero luck even getting a "no thanks" from anyone.  I've contacted 6-8 so far.  Now I've stopped until I figure out what the problem is.

This is where I need your help.

One problem might be that I started writing BEFORE my "real" website was live. I did have a single web page with no shopping cart that I put together myself which everyone told me was cute, but it *was* decidedly unprofessional.  I don't know if any of the stores I contacted took the time to go look at that page; if they did, maybe that scared them.

The other thing I'm thinking, much as I hate to admit it, is that it might be my approach.  Never having done this type of letter before, I  read everything I could put my hands on on the subject, then decided to just (a) keep in mind that people are very busy (so my notes were fairly short); (b) be polite (is there such a thing as *too* polite?); and (c) give them enough--but just enough--info so they'd be interested.  

Here's a copy of a note I sent to an online magazine asking if they'd be interested.  Please critique it for me--here goes:

Dear :

My company, , makes exquisite Swarovski crystal dog collars.  Not fabric collars with crystals glued on--just hundreds of crystals, intricately handwoven on jewelers wire & clasped with sterling silver.  They're breathtaking!  

Although it's hard to capture their sparkle in a photo, I've attached one photo to give you an idea what they look like.  Please take a look--you'll be dazzled!

Because it takes several hours and hundreds of the world's finest crystals to make each one, the collars are wholesale priced at $115 and up.

I believe your dogloving readers would LOVE Bark & Sparkle collars!!--and I'd love to be considered for inclusion in .

I'd be happy to send you more information and/or a sample.  If you're interested, please let me know what you'd like, and I'll get it to you right away.

Thank you very much for your time.

L. Vien, Owner

******************

Here's a 2nd note I wrote, to a magazine that's doing a Holiday Gift Guide.  I feel like this one is better than the one above.  But again, zero response:

Dear Ms. ,

I'd like you to consider my company's product--exquisite handwoven Swarovski crystal "collars with cachet"-- for 's Annual Gift Guide.  Please be sure to see the 2 photos attached.

There's literally no other collar like this on the market.  Each one is handwoven on stainless steel jewelers wire from hundreds of Swarovski crystals--no stick-ons here!--and finished with a sterling silver clasp.  They're a perfect gift for pets and the people who love them.

Better still, we make bracelets and/or chokers for owners, to exactly match their pet's collar!  These "Mommy & Me" sets are the ultimate way to show devotion to a pet; they're surefire attention getters.

One of our popular collars is "Diva"--it has the word Diva woven right in.  This one makes a statement, whether the diva is a puppy OR a person.  

I've attached 2 photos to give you just a tiny "bite" of Bark & Sparkle; one is the DIVA collar I just described.

All our collars are breathtaking--and great gifts for the person who has everything.

Our retail prices range from $113 (for a 1/2" wide, 6" long collar) to $690 (for a 1.5" wise, 18" long collar).  We can accessorize anything from a teacup to a hound dog--AND their mommies!

If you'd like more information, please feel free to either reply to this message or call me at 802.893.2345.

Thank you very much for your time.  I look forward to hearing from you.

Laurie Ann Vien

Owner,

(Our website is being re-designed; it's due online by 7/30/05.)

******************

So--what's your reaction?  What do I need to stop doing/start doing better?  Why no responses?

Thanks; looking forward--I think--to your feedback.

Laurie 

Private Reply to Laurie Vien

Private Reply to Kimberley Kenney

Private Reply to Tara Burner

Private Reply to >> Barry Caplan - Start Your Future Today

Hi Laurie,

First of all, kudos to you for your courage and enthusiasm. You are moving in the right direction. But here are my suggestions for tweaking your approach:

-> State the subject of your letter in bold before you address the reader. For the time crunched manager, this is a courtesy and an attention grabber.

-> Speak to the needs of your target market, especially in your opening and subject line. Undoubtedly, your reader will first ask him/herself before even opening your email: "What's in it for me today?" Think about how many emails you receive in a day and how many you probably delete without even opening them because the subject line did not convince you it was worth reading, or worse, you assumed the email was spam.

-> Further to the above, be as specific as possible about how you/your product will benefit your reader. Will it improve their margins? Will it bring traffic into their store? Will it attract a new market segment?

-> Make you reader feel safe. Mitigate any feelings of pending risk they might feel. They don't want their time wasted and they need to know your product is a sound investment.

-> Personally, I would be more formal with my writing style for this type of thing. Remember, your product is extremely high end; your writing style should match. No contractions (can't, won't, shouldn't, etc.). No gimmicks! Be elegant, formal, and concise. Mirror the attitude and culture of your audience.

-> Follow up your letter with a phone call if you can. I know this takes guts, but again, you want to ensure your communications are reaching the right people and are standing out from the rest. Anyone who manages inventory is being solicited by dozens and dozens of "salespeople" hoping for some shelf space for their wares. Inventory costs money! You want to be the one who has something that will turn over relatively quickly and generate profit.

-> Remember that this process is going to take some time. Repetition is so important. Be consistent and don't give up. Your audience needs time for your message to sink in. Think of this as a campaign which is an ongoing process, rather than a sales opportunity which comes and goes.

Keep at it. You have a very marketable product here.

Karri Flatla
snap! virtual assistance inc.
Don't just outsource. Outsmart.
Subscribe to Outsmart,
the newsletter for small business with big purpose.

Private Reply to Karri Flatla

Private Reply to Laurie Vien

Private Reply to Laurie Vien

I was fairly sure you were using email so I think what I said remains in proper context.

I would definitely have to agree with Barry's point about a call to action. You could request in your email that they contact you for a free sample of your work (perhaps a "miniature version" of what you produce). Then, once you have their mailing contact information, be sure to enclose your full media kit along with a hard copy purchase order form.

I would say that writing for the web is definitely more casual in style. This probably applies to emails as well. That said, I would still be sensitive to your audience's tastes and step up the formality just a notch. Because a product like yours is so novel, there is the risk of sounding "gimmicky" instead of high end.

Sidenote: any time I see all caps or exclamation marks in the subject line of an email from someone I don't know, I tend to delete them. Try to make your subject line "informationally dense" as well as indicating a benefit to the reader.

PS: No worries about misspelling my name. Happens all the time!

Karri Flatla
snap! virtual assistance inc.
Don't just outsource. Outsmart.
Subscribe to Outsmart,
the newsletter for small business with big purpose.

Private Reply to Karri Flatla

Private Reply to Marilyn Jenett

Private Reply to Denise O'Berry

Private Reply to Laurie Vien