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Hollywood & Politics: Then & Now
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Off-Topic: Funny Family StoriesViews: 909
Feb 19, 2007 2:37 amOff-Topic: Funny Family Stories#

Linda J. Alexander http://www.lindajalexander.net
Hi Folks:

It's a Sunday evening. Tomorrow's a federal holiday. I'm Ryzin' around tonight & thought I'd intro a topic related to one I'd seen on another Network.

Have you or anyone in your family ever "blamed" something on someone else w/i the family in hopes that you'd all get out of it easier?

Here's my story. I hope you'll post yours:


When my kids were little, my mother was their babysitter as I went off to work. They became very accustomed to being w/their grandmother, going out w/her, etc.

One day, she had both of my sons in the car. They were about 5 & 6 years old (14 months apart). She was traveling a residential street, going faster than she should &, yep, you guessed it, was pulled over. Before the cop got to her window, she told my boys, "Keep quiet. Don't say a thing!"

The cop & she had the usual discussion. "You were speeding, m'am," etc, etc. My mother looked as apologetic as possible & in her sweetest grandmotherly voice said, "I'm so sorry, officer. I really am, but my grandson here (she indicated the oldest, for whatever reason) has diarrhea & I'm trying to get him home. You understand, I'm sure."

She figured she was outta that ticket, no problem. What young policeman, a guy who looked like he probably had kiddies of his own, would not sympathize w/THAT problem?! No problem here. Everyone would leave happy, right?

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that, m'am. I'll write the ticket quickly so you can get on your way."

*****

My sons are now 28 & 27 years old & everyone still goes into hysterics when this story surfaces.


Blessings -- Linda


www.lindajalexander.net ** www.authorsden.com/lindajalexander
HOLLYWOOD & POLITICS - http://hollywoodpolitics-network.ryze.com/
http://www.talk2bev.com/valentine/linda_alexander_maryland.htm
Bev Mahone's '07 Valentine's Contest Essay Top 5 Winner!

Private Reply to Linda J. Alexander http://www.lindajalexander.net

Feb 19, 2007 5:40 pmre: Off-Topic: Funny Family Stories#

Debra Shiveley Welch
That is a cute story! Poor lady! LOL

I wish I could contribute. Hmmmmmmm

Debra-Author of "A Very Special Child"; co-author "Jesus Gandhi Oma Mae Adams"

Private Reply to Debra Shiveley Welch

Feb 19, 2007 6:28 pmre: re: Off-Topic: Funny Family Stories#

Linda J. Alexander http://www.lindajalexander.net

Debra:

I'm sure you'll think of something. . . .

; >


Blessings -- Linda

www.lindajalexander.net ** www.authorsden.com/lindajalexander
HOLLYWOOD & POLITICS - http://hollywoodpolitics-network.ryze.com/
http://www.talk2bev.com/valentine/linda_alexander_maryland.htm
Bev Mahone's '07 Valentine's Contest Essay Top 5 Winner!

Private Reply to Linda J. Alexander http://www.lindajalexander.net

Feb 19, 2007 6:59 pmre: re: re: Off-Topic: Funny Family Stories#

Debra Shiveley Welch
I have some funny family stories...just not along that line.

My mother was not the...ummm...motherly type. Barfly would describe her best.

Mom had decided to meet her "boyfriend" at the Bust Stop Cafe one wintry evening. She waited for approximately three hours, and at Midnight, stood up and totally ticked off, charged out of the questionable establishment in a red rage.

I guess he mistook her for a little old lady. Her fair hair looked quite white in the light of the street lamps, and her figure had definitely gone to matronly. In any event, the rapist thought he had an easy mark.

When my brother, a cop, whose beat included the Bus Stop, arrived with his backup, he heard a man screaming, "Get her off me! Get her off me!"

My mother, enraged at the "gentleman's" presumption that she was an easy mark, was sitting astride his chest and beating the crap out of him. :-)


Debra-Author of "A Very Special Child"; co-author "Jesus Gandhi Oma Mae Adams"

Private Reply to Debra Shiveley Welch

Feb 19, 2007 9:30 pmre: re: re: re: Off-Topic: Funny Family Stories#

Linda J. Alexander http://www.lindajalexander.net
Debra:

"Funny" is a, well, a relative term . . . pun intended. I have "grandma" stories that would stand some folks hair on end. Yet for me, knowing who she was & accepting her in the context of the life she lived, they're almost nostalgic. We don't always approve of certain behaviors &/or appreciate them, but we still have a connection to that family member. I'll guess you might have similar feelings toward your mother?

Or my stepfather. He was a real "character," & that's being kind. He wouldn't have been my choice if I could've made the pick--but I was a kid. I couldn't. So I learned to live w/it, often as unsettling & upsetting as that was.

He & my mother lived to aggravate each other, at best, & drive each other mad, at worst. One day they were at it again. She forever picked at him, he at her. He got back at her, though, by intentionally, methodically doing the very things she despised.

He came downstairs one weekend morning when we were going out. He was dressed & ready. My mother was on her way to the garage when she saw him.

"You're NOT going out like THAT!"

He looked at her as if it were a fine spring day & everything was hunky-dory. He even managed to appear confused at her statement. "Oh? Why not?"

He was dressed in pattern shorts, some sort of hideous mis-matched shirt, black socks & brown tie-up dress shoes. Clearly, he would be laughed out of any public establishment w/his choice of clothing. We did NOT go on our outing. The day did NOT get better.

But today, all these years later, I can laugh at it. I had a "funny family," in all its glory. In fact, the very definition of "functional family" is a laugh to me. Ain't no such thing.

I sense a true affinity w/you, Debra.


Blessings & laughter -- Linda

www.lindajalexander.net ** www.authorsden.com/lindajalexander
HOLLYWOOD & POLITICS - http://hollywoodpolitics-network.ryze.com/
http://www.talk2bev.com/valentine/linda_alexander_maryland.htm
Bev Mahone's '07 Valentine's Contest Essay Top 5 Winner!

Private Reply to Linda J. Alexander http://www.lindajalexander.net

Feb 19, 2007 11:16 pmre: re: re: re: re: Off-Topic: Funny Family Stories#

Debra Shiveley Welch
LOL and I would have relatives standing behind him going "What's wrong with it?" just to see him step out dressed like that!

My family was definitely not one to "keep up with the Joneses" or care what any body else thought.

Couldn't afford to.

Debra-Author of "A Very Special Child"; co-author "Jesus Gandhi Oma Mae Adams"

Private Reply to Debra Shiveley Welch

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