I think you're on the right track if you make those changes.
I'm a writer and researcher myself and someone that really hepled me out with my own writing is an author I came across one day named Steve Manning.
He's selling a writing course online that covers all the aspects of writing and publishing including things like improving your style. I signed up for the course and it dramtically improved my own writing results by about 1000 percent. He even made me realize that I'm a way better writer than I thought I was. This gave me the confidence to really get going and complete some writing projects I was sitting on. The results have been great and I just can't say enough about it.
To promote his "How To Write A Book In 14 Days" course he gives away Free tips on his email newsletter.
I highly recommend you sign up and check it out because he gives away dozens of great tips that will allow you to make dramatic improvements before you even sign up for the course.
Steve Manning's Write A Book In 14 Days Mini-Course SignUp
The only thing about Steve is that I think he's an over-zealous marketer. He really believes in what he's teaching and it shows in how he promotes himself relentlessly. His stuff is really great, so is that a bad thing? I don't think so but if you find yourself being overwhelmed, just unsubscribe.
Anyway, give it a shot and good luck!
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