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Jan 03, 2004 1:33 am Perils of Perfectionism
Eric Sohn

Is perfection fair? Is it realistic?

How do you feel when you fail to be perfect? Does that contribute or detract from future success?

Rebecca, I know how you feel - my mom's a perfectionist, too. But, not me. Absolute goals, like "perfect","never" and "always" set you up to fail, not succeed. Continuous improvement is a laudable and realistic goal, on the other hand.

Another question: do people notice or care about minor imperfections? When I teach people how to relax speaking in front of audiences, I tell them that audiences give the speaker, who is the "expert", the benefit of the doubt. In fact, if he or she screws up, they empathise, because they know how hard it is - and how much worse they'd perform in the same space.

What do people think?

Coach Eric

> Rebecca St. Martin wrote:

I had a New Years Day Party and it cracks me up to think that we were having too much fun playing games and COMPLETELY forgot to cover this ground: The discussion of what we plan for 2004...

I think the biggest challenge I face is preparing for parties, meetings, gatherings, speaking engagements. I'm somewhat of a perfectionist and worry about whether everyone will have a good time. Once I'm actually in the "doing" -- or everything started and rolling, I'm perfectly fine. Beforehand, however, I do a lot of sweating and running around and changing my mind and losing my breath and panicing. Besides being quite uncomfortable for me, it drives my husband nuts.

So one goal I have is to remember that while I can facilitate, others are responsible for their own good time, that they won't panic if I don't panic, and to accept help when offered. I've always felt that a good hostess has everything perfect even though my own experience at events is otherwise. I love chipping in, setting the table, helping with dishes, stacking folding chairs, etc. It gets done faster and is most times greatly appreciated.

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