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| | The Legal Needs Network is not currently active and cannot accept new posts | | Did You Hear the One About the Lawyer ?(Lawyer Jokes)Lawyers have a Sense of Humor too!!! | Views: 520 | | Aug 19, 2006 5:38 am | | re: Did You Hear the One About the Lawyer ?(Lawyer Jokes)Lawyers have a Sense of Humor too!!! | # | 
Ritu | | "What's wrong with lawyer jokes? Lawyers don't think they're funny and nobody else thinks they're jokes."
Well not really, I find Lawyer jokes the funniest cos they are clean & give you a good laugh & are oh so true!!!:=))
Here are a couple of my favorites--Looking forward to hearing loads more from everyone
~You might be a lawyer if:
You are charging someone for reading these jokes.
The shortest sentence you have ever written was more than eighty words long.
You have a daughter named Sue and a son named Bill.
When you look in a mirror, you see a lawyer.
When your wife says "I love you," you cross-examine her.
~Giving an Orange ain't so simple when we are Lawyers dealing in legal jargon!!
The professor of a contract law class asked one of his better students, “If you were to give someone an orange, how would you go about it?” The student replied, “Here’s an orange.” The professor was outraged. “No! No! Think like a lawyer!” The student then replied, “Okay. I’d tell him ‘I hereby give and convey to you all and singular, my estate and interests, rights, claim, title, claim and advantages of and in, said orange, together with all its rind, juice, pulp, and seeds, and all rights and advantages with full power to bite, cut, freeze and otherwise eat, the same, or give the same away with and without the pulp, juice, rind and seeds, anything herein before or hereinafter or in any deed, or deeds, instruments of whatever nature or kind whatsoever to the contrary in anywise notwithstanding…’”
Private Reply to Ritu | | Aug 19, 2006 1:11 pm | | re: re: Did You Hear the One About the Lawyer ?(Lawyer Jokes)Lawyers have a Sense of Humor too!!! | # | 
Vijay Nair | | Cheers, Ritu!!!!
Carry on.....
At least we have something to smile at the end of a tiring day.
http://www.pkblogs.com/mahfuuzPrivate Reply to Vijay Nair | | Aug 20, 2006 11:27 am | | re: re: Did You Hear the One About the Lawyer ?(Lawyer Jokes)Lawyers have a Sense of Humor too!!! | # |
Michael Deans | | And if the Orange variety was protected under Plant Breeders Rights or similar legislation or the orange was genetically engineered under a Patent, the right to use the seeds to grow new oranges would be reserved to the owner of the Plant Breeders Rights or Patent.
And this is no Joke.
Regards
Michael Deans Private Reply to Michael Deans | | Aug 20, 2006 12:19 pm | | re: re: re: Did You Hear the One About the Lawyer ?(Lawyer Jokes)Lawyers have a Sense of Humor too!! | # |
Ritu | | Lol Michael...but since you said it ain't no joke...i'll try to consider this seriously as any good lawyer worth her coat should...but still ROFL. Private Reply to Ritu | | Aug 20, 2006 2:44 pm | | re: re: re: re: Did You Hear the One About the Lawyer ?(Lawyer Jokes)Lawyers have a Sense of Humor t | # |
Ritu | | ~A man walked into a lawyer's office and inquired about the lawyer's rates. "$50.00 for three questions, replied the lawyer. "Isn't that awfully steep?" asked the man. "Yes," the lawyer replied, "and what was your third question?"
~A lawyer dies in a car accident on his 40th birthday and finds himself greeted at the Pearly Gates by a brass band. Saint Peter runs over, shakes his hand and says "Congratulations!" "Congratulations for what?", asks the lawyer. "Congratulations for what?", says Saint Peter. "We're celebrating the fact that you lived to be 160 years old!" "But that's not true," says the lawyer. "I only lived to be forty." "That's not possible," replies Saint Peter. "We've added up your time sheets."
Private Reply to Ritu | | Aug 22, 2006 4:19 pm | | re: re: re: re: re: Did You Hear the One About the Lawyer ?(Lawyer Jokes)Lawyers have a Sense of Hum | # |
Ritu | | It is heartening to note that Lawyers are not always the butt of joke in the lawyers joke...sometimes the clients also provide the much needed humor.& here's how
~A farmer walked into an attorney's office wanting to file for a divorce. The attorney asked, "May I help you?"
The farmer said, "Yea, I want to get one of those dayvorces."
The attorney said, "Well do you have any grounds?"
The farmer said, "Yea, I got about 140 acres." The attorney said, "No, you don't understand, do you have a case?"
The farmer said, "No, I don't have a Case, but I have a John Deere."
The attorney said, "No you don't understand, I mean do you have a grudge?"
The farmer said, "Yea I got a grudge, that's where I park my John Deere."
The attorney said, "No sir, I mean do you have a suit?"
The farmer said, "Yes sir, I got a suit. I wear it to church on Sundays."
The exasperated attorney said, "Well sir, does your wife beat you up or anything?"
The farmer said, "No sir, we both get up about 4:30."
Finally, the attorney says, "Okay, let me put it this way. WHY DO YOU WANT A DIVORCE?"
And the farmer says, "Well, I can never have a meaningful conversation with her."
Private Reply to Ritu | | Sep 05, 2006 8:27 am | | All in a Day's work | # |
Ritu | |  Private Reply to Ritu | | Sep 05, 2006 9:09 am | | re: All in a Day's work | # |
Amar Kalra | | While arguing a case, a lawyer tells another "You are the biggest ass I have ever seen in my life".
Judge: Order! Order! You seem to forget that I am here. Private Reply to Amar Kalra | | |
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